The hardest part of mourning someone who is still alive is the fact that, right now, they’re choosing to wake up and go to bed without you in their life. Whether it be a failed friendship or relationship, the loss still hurts. That's enough to make anyone feel heartbreak, sadness, anger and even frustration. It hurts even more when you go from having a good and solid relationship with someone to nothing at all. Even if you do still come in contact with them, the change of relationship can feel like a loss on it's own. Often times the pain feels unbearable. Although they're not dead, it almost feels like they are. You're forced to have your own private funeral for your own heart to cope with the fact that this person is no longer a part of you. When you feel like you've run out of hope, here's what to do:
Pray.
Pray to God. Tell him about your struggles and pray for guidance. Understand that he put you in this situation for a reason. Never underestimate the power of prayer.
Try to understand the situation you're in.
Maybe this person wasn't meant to be in your life. Throughout our lifetime, doors are constantly opening and closing for us. There are reasons why people come and go. You have a whole life ahead of you. Try to understand.
Be respectful.
No matter how hurt you are, you must stay humble. Treat others how you'd want to be treated. People may not understand what you're going through and that's okay. Do not let this world make you bitter. Do not let people make you hate. Choose love and choose to do the right thing, no matter how hard it may be.
Don't beat yourself up over it.
In situations like this, you may feel as if you did something wrong. Understand that people will always be biased and have something negative to say. Don't let this get to you. YOU are the only one who truly knows yourself. YOU know what you had to offer. YOU had no control over this happening. People come and go. Sometimes it's hard to accept, but you will get through this.
Work on yourself through this time.
Self love is so important. If you don't love yourself, you can't possibly learn to love others. Keep busy, focus on yourself, spend time with friends, go out and have fun. BE YOU! Have confidence. No one is "too good" for you. Nothing is "too far" from reach. You're unstoppable. You can do anything you put your mind to. There was an incredible version of yourself before you faced this heartache. Embrace that person again.
Talk about it.
Don't bottle things up inside. Nothing is worse than having an internal battle with yourself. Tell someone you trust about how you feel. If you don't want to talk to anyone about it, write it in a journal. Put it in your notes. Write about what happened, how it made you feel, what you wish could have happened, and why it's so hard to let go. Write about the steps you can take to cope and help yourself get through this.
Time heals all wounds. No one promised this was going to be easy. There will be days when you feel unstoppable— and then there will be days where you don't feel like getting out of bed. Allow this to be an experience you learn from. You cannot fear new beginnings. There are new ways of finding happiness. Discover it. One question always remains: "Is it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?" There is no life without failure, pain and struggle. It's times like this that allow us to understand how we want our future friendships and relationships to go.
Remember: it takes courage and bravery to accept that failure is a part of life. As Thomas Edison once said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
