I sit here after having said goodbye to a dear friend of mine for two months earlier today. I did the same with another friend yesterday, a few others last weekend, and this weekend, I will have to do so with my family. Fall break has been a week of quick hello's and reluctant goodbye's. After being away at school for two months, I have found myself with just a few hours to catch up on all that has happened with people from home who mean so much to me. Yet I do not want to sound ungrateful.

No matter how limited the time is, I feel lucky to have had these moments of reconnection with my loved ones.

Being in college means living a life divided into two succinct parts: your life at home, and your life at school (which, for me, and I hope many others, is deemed a second home). In a constant state of switching locations, back and forth for breaks, it seems natural that along the way, you will miss others.

This is something that I have struggled with a lot recently. It is difficult to transition from seeing your parents, siblings, friends from school, and more, every day, to suddenly seeing them once every couple months. In the same way, while at home, I have found it strange to be without my roommates and hallmates whose company I appreciate so much.

Coping with missing others is something we hear about all the time, but are never truly prepared for.

I think that everyone goes through their own process. For me, I have always had a simple piece of advice to keep in mind.

When I was younger and my mom went away for a weekend, my mother asked my brother if he would miss her. In a response wise beyond his years, he said:

"I don't need to miss you because I remember you."

To me, this response offers a radical shift in how to miss people. As I think about leaving home again on Sunday and not returning until Thanksgiving, I realize there will be days where I may miss my family and friends. When that time comes for me, and for any of you, I urge you to change your perspective on the feelings that missing people evokes.

Yes, it is sad that sometimes, we cannot spend all our days with our loved ones. But this feeling of sadness can be shifted into one where we simply pause and remember those we miss, how they make us feel, the memories we have shared with them.

Those we love have a place in our hearts, and as long as you keep that in mind, a part of them will always be right with you.

This idea reminds me of the Dr. Seuss quote: "Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened". Just as I do not want others to become down if they miss me, I pledge to begin remembering and appreciating those I love if feelings of nostalgia ever come.

At the same time, I have realized that space from loved ones is also important and crucial for us to grow as individuals. Maybe it isn't all so bad to be separate from those you love.

Sometimes it may be hard to instantly change from a feeling of sadness to a feeling of appreciation for whomever you are missing, and that is okay. In those times, I think it is important to practice self-care in whatever form. For me, it often comes in the form of journaling, working out, or music, but this is different for everyone.

And hey:

If you miss someone, don't be afraid to reach out and tell them!

Maybe they're feeling the same way. Maybe they'll get your text or phone call and smile knowing you were thinking about them. I know that happened to me recently and it made my day.

Let's start turning our moments of longing into ones of appreciation for others and connection.

Xoxo,

Sam