Are you an older member who dreads the never-ending events hosted daily by your sorority?
Monday is intramurals; Tuesday is chapter meetings, of course; Wednesday we have a sisterhood; Thursday is mixers (duh); Friday we may or may not have more intramurals or a recruitment event; and, if you get really lucky, Saturday you won't have to study or do volunteer service to meet your required amount of hours for the semester. Throw all of this into a mix with your job (or two) and the stress of trying to graduate and it is almost inevitable that you will become the older member who doesn’t know a single new members name, only seen on rare occasions, and has the unbecoming nickname “Old Balls." Here are a few ways to avoid sorority menopause:
1. Extend your family
I know taking a Little is extremely expensive but she immediately gives you an in to the younger members. Because what do new members do? They go to mixers, they talk about their Big, they go to philanthropy events, oh, and they talk about their Big some more. You immediately get to know all of the younger members and recognize most of them in chapter. Even if they don’t know your name and aspirations, they still know your Little and that makes you pretty cool in their book.
2. Make a scrapbook
This may sound cheesy but remembering where you were a year ago will make you extremely nostalgic and make you miss it even more. Remembering all the fun you had at the events that now seem pointless and time-consuming will help you gain the courage to leave your granny pjs at the house and go do something social.
3. Be social
Get over yourself. We all have homework, we all work, we all have boyfriends or friends or frat boys we hang out with. Just remember only one boy will last forever while you will keep these relationships that you form with your sisters just as long. Also, you only get to marry one guy, but you get as many bridesmaids as you want and you’ll need several to hold that giant ball gown of yours when you have to pee five minutes before the ceremony.
4. Get with the ritual
To me there is nothing cooler about having your own secrets in a society -- learn them all. Don’t be a part of something without fully immersing yourself into it. Learn the secret handshakes, the code names, the prayers, the songs and the history. And then share it with those you are closest to.
5. Make it a mission to go to one event a week (yes besides chapter)
Most events are an hour at the most and even though you may not see everyone there over time at your one event each week, you will meet more and more of the youngsters and you may even form bonds with those in your own class that you never thought you would get along with.
6. Hold a position
There is nothing better then being in charge in my own personal opinion. If there is a question to be asked, you are the person they run to. Whether it's about a social, intramurals, panhellenic or even risk management, it gives you a sense of importance. This immediately takes you from “Old Balls” to “Big Balls” because you are the one in charge of that specific category of your sorority.
7. Be all Greek. Make friends outside of your sorority
Find people who are IFC or NPHC. Learn about all of it. I’m personally extremely intrigued by the inner-workings of NPHC and would love to learn more. Their terminology, their secret lines and their signs are all simply interesting to say the least.
8. Teach
The best way to live on is to leave a legacy. Teach the young girls how to get cheap shirts, how to hide from standards and, when they're old enough, your favorite mixed drink. It will make you all the more cool in their eyes and you will forever be remembered as the cool older member to them.
9. Learn
Although you have been around the block a time or two, let the new members teach you. Not all new members think that orange juice and vodka are the perfect mixed drink. You might be pleasantly surprised that one of them has a hangover cure that actually works, or better yet knows where to get even cheaper T-shirts.
10. Network
Meet girls in your sorority from other schools. Going out into the world you meet so many people you know nothing about. But when you meet someone from your sorority who lives half the country away, you get a rush of emotions because you feel like you already know them. You at least know their values and where they have probably invested most of their time as far as volunteering.
11. Band together
Take group of all the old women and watch at how hilarious it is to see the look on the younger members faces as they try to figure out why so many alumnae are at their sisterhood/tailgate.
12. Relax
Don’t stress about things that won't change. Having to miss an hour of sleep to stay up later to do your homework because you went to a beauty mixer won't kill you and it's not going to be detrimental to your grade. My favorite quote is, “Don’t take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway.”
It’s not four years, it’s for life, but these four to five years (depending on if you do a glory lap) are the best ones of your Greek years. You will never get them back and most older members realize this too little too late.
