Writing has been a large part of my life for almost ten years now. I can't think of a time where I wasn't thinking up stories in my head, and trying to find the time to write it all down. I never knew how much it would impact my life.
For some people writing seems so daunting. Having to stare at a blank piece of paper and create something from scratch. It couldn't be more opposite for me, that sort of thing excites me.
Until this week I had never been so grateful for the ability to be able to write. It has come to me in a time where nothing else made sense, and has helped me cope with something I didn't know how to deal with on my own.
Typically when people are upset about something they exercise it out or eat themselves into a stupor. For me, I sat down with my computer and wrote down every feeling that was coming to me. I hadn't felt so inspired in months.
Whenever a thought came to my head I was taking my phone out and jotting down notes. Sometimes I would go back and expand upon the thought. Other times I would leave it because that note represented exactly how I was feeling in the moment.
Most of what I wrote will never see the light of day, but others I feel have the potential to turn into something more. This made me excited to write again, and I hadn't felt that way in a long time. Life had gotten in the way of my passion, but the fire has come back.
If I didn't have the ability to write I don't know how I would have dealt with this situation. Writing it all out allowed me to think more and see everything clearly. It gave me the time to process all of my thoughts.
In some ways, I think it made me accept what was happening to an extent. I'm still upset and slightly angry, but if I didn't have an outlet for my feelings who knows where my emotions would be now.
Writing was there for me in a moment of need and I didn't expect it to be. I have never loved something more than I do in this moment.
Before when I was asked, "Why do I write?", I responded with something along the lines of having characters come alive on the page in front of me. Of having created my own world unique to anybody else's.
Normally that explanation would be enough for me, and it was for a long time, but now it has changed. I still enjoy creating a different world, but everything will have so much more meaning now.
Now my new response will be that it allows me to understand how I'm feeling, to see a clearer picture of the world, and why everything does, in fact, happen for a reason.
Writing has shown me a way to move forward. In the future, I can have the knowledge that that whenever I need to clear my mind and think about how I feel I will always have writing to come back to.