Self love is tough. For myself especially, I sought and still find myself seeking approval from others rather than myself. It's difficult not to, especially with social media, and a world that seemingly revolves around the concept of acceptance. Likes, followers, filters, and editing help us to curate this version of our lives, images that we paint in the hopes that others love or accept us. But relying and putting stock of our self worth into another can be devastating when they stop loving you.
Self love from within is often overlooked in our lives. From personal experience I felt that if a friend or boy loved me, then I must be doing something right. I must be pretty enough, smart enough, and worthy of this love. Yet, when those friendships or relationships ended I'd feel broken and ask myself what I did wrong. When in reality, a majority of the time I had done nothing at all. Realizing how others treat you is a reflection of them and not you causes you to have a completely different perspective on your current and future relationships. Your mindset switches from asking yourself what you did, to how the other person contributed, and you look at breakups in a different manner.
I've realized the importance of self love immensely throughout the aftermath of a breakup I've been going through. I never realized how much of my self worth and self love was based off of his love for me. This temporary love that he gave me made me feel amazing, but when it was gone, I felt like I lost myself. His daily compliments, promises, and assurances made me love myself and feel worthy of being loved. But his words were fleeting as was his love for me, and I failed to love me before. But I'm now learning how to love myself after.
If I had gone into that relationship with the mindset of loving me before him, I wouldn't have spiraled when he left me. If I had truly loved myself it wouldn't of taken the pain of our break up away, but I would've been able to move on sooner feeling secure in myself. It's so important to understand that the love that others give you is temporary, but self love is forever.
Just like traditional love between others, self love has its ups and downs. Starting this journey of self love has been extremely difficult. Yet, I've finally confronted so many issues that I've buried deep down and hidden trying to find acceptance from others. Self love is a lifelong battle that we as humans all face, but it's so important to understand that only YOU can determine how others make you feel, and YOU can determine how you choose to love yourself for you.Ultimately life is too precious and fragile to waste time not loving you for the amazing individual you are. No one can take away your self love unless you let them. Look in the mirror today, and know that you're worthy, you're loved, and you define and own your self love.