As schools and universities attempted to open up for the semester, just as quickly they were back to resuming remote learning as infections soared. While it is still true that COVID-19 does little harm to young people, they are believed to be spreaders of the virus. The risk of them bringing the virus back home where they can infect their parents or grandparents was the primary concern among school superintendents and health officials when they decided to curtail in person learning.
So here we are, back to remote instruction. Teens have to once again make significant adjustments to their expectations about the high school experience, especially the social aspects. Parents are challenged to try to help their teenager navigate this new normal, with all the unsolicited disruptions to their social life, and to minimize the mental health risks that could accompany the disappointments.
How the Pandemic Has Dealt a Blow to Teen Social Life
The teen years play a pivotal developmental role on the road to adulthood. While a teen may resemble an adult physically, they are still under construction emotionally. Those few years, starting at the end of childhood until the dawn of adulthood, play a critical role in preparing young people for the challenges of life. A huge part of this developmental growth relies heavily on social interactions.
Then along came the coronavirus pandemic to upend the natural process of a teen's transformation from child to adult. Suddenly, nearly all physical contact with peers was halted and teens found themselves hanging out with their parents and siblings 24/7 for months on end. Instead of moving forward toward independence and autonomy, teens were returned to the role of child in many ways.
As adults can well remember, the teen years are punctuated with distinct milestones; those unique events that become memorable benchmarks in their young lives. Events like attending sporting events, participating and excelling in school sports, attending the senior prom, or the high school graduation ceremony were all shelved in Spring 2020. Now as students approach a new semester of distance learning, and social distancing policies continuing, there is rightful concern about teen mental health going forward.
What Mental Health Signs Should Parents Be on the Lookout For?
Because this pandemic is something so unique to our life experience, parents will need to check in with their teens by encouraging open communication. Teens tend to pull back emotionally from parents during adolescence, but because of the unusual stressors they are experiencing in 2020 and now going into 2021 it is important for parents to make an extra effort to stay connected to them.
A rare teen will come up to a parent and say, "Mom, I feel so depressed and sad today" or "Dad, I am so stressed out I feel I am losing it." Instead, these emotional states may surface in other ways. Some of the signs of teen distress include:
- Irritability
- Mood swings
- Changes in eating habits, sudden weight changes
- Angry outbursts
- Substance abuse
- Self harm
- Sleep problems
- Persistent sadness
- Difficulty concentrating
- Loss of interest in friendships
- Becoming sneaky or deceitful
- Isolating behaviors
- Not adhering to family rules
- Obsession with death or thoughts of suicide
Parents who are attuned to their teen will be able to recognize when a group of these symptoms presents, and can then open up a dialogue with them. The teen may open up and reveal how much they are suffering during the pandemic and how much they miss their former social life. A conversation may also lead to new awareness of a simmering mental health condition that needs professional attention. Either way, open communication is essential during these times.
3 Things Parents Can Do to Help their Teen Through the Pandemic
Instead of ignoring a teen's mental health struggles and hoping it will all just work out, parents should take proactive steps to help their child get through the school year. With no way to predict how many months the students will be learning from home, it is best to assume the worst and begin to get creative.
- Plan activities. Parents can convene with other parents and make some plans for social gatherings for their teens that adhere to COVID-19 policies. Small outdoor gatherings help teens to continue to socialize safely. These might be outdoor barbeques with music, group hikes or bike rides, going to a skate park, outdoor ice skating, or just hanging outside in the backyard with a couple of close friends and some snacks.
- Make some goals. Since teens are still young they do not yet have the ability to put events into perspective. Parents know that with age you find that bad things do pass and the corner will eventually turn. Parents can help teens comprehend this concept by making some plans for the summer of 2021, such as planning a family vacation or putting in a swimming pool. Setting future positive goals gives the teen something to look forward to while they pass the time during COVID-19.
- Give them space. While parents might be tempted to be overprotective during the pandemic, resist that urge. Allow your teen the space they need and deserve to find some level of autonomy that they might have otherwise found at a part-time job or on a sports team—things they cannot do at this time. Carve out opportunities for the teen to manage their own time and freedom within boundaries so they can continue to grow and mature personally.
About the Author
Dr. Arastou Aminzadeh is a triple board certified physician in psychiatry, child and adolescent psychiatry, and addiction medicine, and is the co-founder of BNI Treatment Centers in Agoura Hills, California. Dr. Aminzadeh is a fellow of the American Society of Addiction Medicine and also a fellow of the American Psychiatric Association. A well respected leader in the field, he also holds an adjunct faculty position at the University of Southern California, Keck School of Medicine, where he completed his residency and fellowship.
