I’m sure that all of us have watched a friend go through a hard time. One of the most difficult things about friendship in these moments is knowing what to say and how to act. Often, we may long to extend love and assistance but really don’t know what to do. From people who have loved and cared for me to situations where I have done the same for others, these are some of the best ways to help a friend through a rough time.
Number One: Don’t Talk
First of all, sometimes a hurting friend just needs to talk through the issue. One of the best examples I’ve seen of this was in high school, when I watched one of my leaders interact with a student. This student was explaining how one of her friends hadn’t treated her well. Rather than trying to offer a solution, this leader just listened. There wasn’t anything they could do, and the student just needed to talk about it. Allowing your friend to verbally process with you might be exactly what they need. They might come to a solution simply by talking through the issue on their own. If they ask for advice, don’t hesitate to offer your wisdom. However, many people want to jump right in and fix the problem. Don’t do that. Listen first.
Number Two: Do What You Can
Next, depending on the problem, do what you can to help in the solution. For someone going through a bad relationship or mental health problems, they may need professional help or to at least get other people involved who know the next step. It is possible that your friend may not want your help. They may not think they need help or that there is really an issue. Despite this, use your best judgment to determine whether they will benefit from you taking these steps to help them. Even if they are uncomfortable at the moment, part of being a good friend is having their long-term best interests at heart. Don’t sit on the sidelines and watch if more serious action needs to be taken.
Number Three: Remind Them Of Their Worth
Finally, let your friend know that others love and care for them. Sit with them while they cry. Remind them that they are valuable to you and to the people around them as well. Being willing and eager to help will be a testimony to how much you care. Perhaps the biggest thing you can do for a hurting friend is to pray for them. Pray with them, lifting up the situation to God who is the ultimate healer. Pray for them on your own and let them know that you are doing so. Even if things can’t be remedied in their life immediately, it will be easier if they know they aren’t going it alone.
Putting It All Together
At the end of the day, life will challenge us all. We will be weary and in some places we may feel crushed; that’s where others can come in and support us. When we are looking to comfort and support others, it’s important to remember to listen to them and to let them talk. It’s important to do what we can to aid them, even when that calls for tough love. And lastly, it’s important to remind them with words and actions that they are worthy and cared for. Let us love how Christ loved us.
