I met someone only a few months ago. We tried to be good friends but to be honest, his bad qualities definitely outweighed his good ones (if he had any). I just moved to a new area and he seemed like a nice fella. After hanging with him twice, which both honestly sucked, I just tried my best to avoid him. I would be courteous and hit him up once in a blue moon to check in even though I did not want to. I did not want to speak to him at all.
I then asked myself, "why do I care to reach out to him if he does nothing for me as a friend?" He then texted me something very immature which then led me to tell the dude to please stop talking to me as I simply told him we are not meant to be friends. He laughed which then reassured that I totally made the right choice.
I felt bad at first exiting the so-called short friendship we had. But then I realized, he not only made me feel like shit but added no value to my life. As harsh as that sounds, it was the truth.
I always felt guilty ending a friendship with others, which I do not do a lot. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I have had people, well too many people ghost me and end friendships out of the blue. It made me feel crappy and ask myself "how can someone do something so cold?" Then I realized that if a person just does not have value to you in your life, get rid of them. I guess that is what people did to me.
I now understand however that I am allowed to do that to people without feeling guilty. This guy I got rid of was a great choice of mine and I truly feel no guilt. I wish I had done this to others in the past when needed to instead of staying stuck in relationships that did not suit me.
When you are in a relationship with someone that you think is not benefiting you, it may be time to reevaluate the friendship. I am not saying drop all your friends who have made you feel bad a few times. Were all humans and make mistakes. I am saying if a friend of yours constantly adds more bad to your life than good, puts you down, makes you feel shitty, etc. That is pure toxic and is not needed.
It does not only have to be friends but boyfriends, girlfriends, family members, you name it!
It sucks ending relationships and having people end them with you. Sometimes I do believe however that certain relationships just are not meant to last and the ones that matter will truthfully stay in your life.
There is an interesting article about how and why you should remove toxic people from your life, with one of them being you can't expect people to change.
You can't always expect people to change to better your life. What you can do though is figure out if they are worth it.