Think back to when you were younger, smaller. Think about the looming decision of moving away, and how that feat seemed impossible to accomplish. All the pancake breakfasts at the kitchen table and lazy Sundays on the living room floor—then suddenly you’re expected to move out and move on. Find that home away from home.
Now, flash forward to you sitting on the couch in joggers approaching your fourth (fifth?) cup of coffee with Cheeto-stained fingers. If you further the idea of finding somewhere that feels like home, Google will list a wide variety of travel sites for you to visit. As if you can only find a sense of warm acceptance in Turkey or uncover happiness in a solo journey to Siberia and back. As if finding contentment in your present surroundings is worthy of scrutiny if it is not on a different continent.
I am sick of fighting every day to be happy where I live. To be okay with the people around me and the circumstances that have unfolded at my feet. But society downpours negativity and slathers us with impressions of unhappiness. The world turns top heavy with the notion that travel and money make the soul complete. Whether you move for college or a job or just because it never was for you, we all face the pursuit of finding somewhere we belong.
So where do we go from here, in the never-ending search for that certain home away from home?
- GO HOME
You will never realize the simplicity of the life you forged growing up until you escape and return. The roads seem smaller and the buildings older, but it is all the same. So take the time to ask yourself why you left in the first place. Was it rooted in the town, eroding like thin cement? Or more so in the people, gossipy hands interfering with daily life? It could be neither, just the general curiosity of a wide variety of places to discover. It doesn’t matter the rhyme or reason, just go home and find the motive for ever wanting to leave. - MOVE YOURSELF
You’ll recognize that when you wait for the flow of life to take you somewhere, you’re rooted in defeat. Instead of giving you a hand up, life will use you as a stepping stool for someone else. So push yourself to keep looking until something feels settled. There will be people to help you along the way, but never be discouraged by the others who never found what they were looking for. Trust in yourself and what you feel—the rest will come easy enough. - DON’T FORCE IT
If you can’t find somewhere that brings a surge of nostalgia like the smell of your parents’ home, that is okay! Do not trick yourself into happiness because the wave of repercussions weighs heavier than patience. Simply because that is all you need, patience. Patience to keep wandering until something feels right or if it never does feel exactly right, have the patience to tell yourself it will be okay.
- YOU’RE ALLOWED TO BE YOUR OWN HOME
There is an understanding that every person’s childhood differs as does every reason for leaving home. The most heinous of childhoods should never stop you from finding your own space, your own comfort zone, but for a lot of people it does. So this is someone telling you it is okay to build your home inside yourself. If you can never attach to a physical place for fear it will dissolve in front of your eyes, build it within yourself. Create something that is only tangible to you and run with it. Because in the end, finding home within yourself is a whole other feat that some never accomplish.
I grew up in the thick of a family that spreads love with the flutter of eyelashes. We all weave together with precision and create a cohesive rhythm to live by—but that didn’t stop me from leaving. And even growing up in such a loving beautiful environment, I still found home nestled in the wilderness of Marquette. Within each of us, there is an engulfing feeling that is hard to silence. An urge to fight and discover and stumble upon that place called home. We all have an unspoken understanding for the sudden change in saying “my parents’ home” instead of just “my home”—but instilled beside that unnoticed change is the need to find somewhere to root in as well.
