This may sound super cocky, but I am stellar at ending arguments. No, seriously, that is something you can actually be good at. This goes for personal situations, such as relationship, friendship, and family disputes. You can try to apply this method in the workplace, but if you’re arguing with your boss chances are they’re going to win because they can fire you-- so maybe avoid those arguments.
So how might you go about ending any argument? Apologize right away. No I am not kidding, any time you’re in an argument apologize first. But wait-- what about your pride? You know you’re right so why the f*** would you apologize?
Story time:
Once upon a time I found out this guy I had been talking to was playing me-- unheard of I know. So when he confronted me for being mad at him, I did the last thing anyone expected of me. I told him I was sorry. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t taking the blame away from him, just completely off of myself. I hadn’t done much but let him know he was not my favorite person, but I still apologized. What for? Well I told him I was sorry if I had added any unnecessary drama or stress to the situation. Totally true, I absolutely meant every word of it. The point is he had nothing on me.
It’s pretty simple, the sooner you shove your pride deep down just like emotionally unavailable people do with their feelings the better. By being the first to apologize, you take responsibility for yourself, which in turn makes it a lot harder for the other person to be angry at you. I can see how this might feel like you’re letting them win, but actually a few things happen when you are the bigger person.
It’s really hard to be mad at someone who isn’t fighting back.
One-way fights are no fun. Have you ever yelled at someone who has done nothing but take responsibility for themselves and apologized? It. Is. So. Awkward. By taking responsibility, you’re leaving it up to the other person to take a look at what they did wrong.
The fight will be over and done sooooo much quicker.
After one person apologizes, the other is likely to follow suit with the motive of not wanting to be a total ass or lose you from their life-- that is if they value having you in their life but that is a whole different subject.
By admitting your fault, no matter how small it may seem, you take away a lot of the other person’s angry power.
If you’re the bigger person, you gain the power. You sleep easy knowing that you’ve done all you could to help mend the situation on your end-- at that point it’s just a waiting game.
Be genuine for the love of all that is holy.
YOU CANNOT SUCCESSFULLY WIN AN ARGUMENT BY LYING. Please get this concept down first. If you are not genuine, you are fueling the fire and you’re going to make everything worse. Even if you are just apologizing for adding any extra stress-- it is still something to take responsibility for. But take note, if you can’t actually be genuine do not do not do not try to end arguments like this.
And if that still doesn’t work, well then you’re on your own friend.
