One day a year dedicated to eating, food, calories, and pure bliss. With Thanksgiving rounding the corner, there is way more prep work that needs to be done than simply making the green bean casserole, cleaning the house, carving the turkey, or buying the pumpkin pie, my friends. The most daunting prep work lies in researching the perfect pair of holiday stretchy pants.
Turkey, potatoes, stuffing, gravy, pie--I'm sorry, but for today there are no low calorie options (and if you find some, then you're doing Turkey Day an injustice). Food babies are bound to happen, and food comas will ensue quicker than you can say "pass me the dinner rolls." But with a little proper preparation, your digestive system AND your wardrobe will be thanking you later.
Don't waste your money on those tight pants. Let's face it, 3 pieces of pecan pie into the game, and your pants have given you two options: 1) your fly will come undone and the family will see way more of you than they wanted to see this holiday, or 2) your button might take a little journey into your Great Aunt Betsy's eye costing her a surgery and you the nice gift you were expecting from her for Christmas.
So, please, I beg of you, don't make this holiday season miserable by making the wrong wardrobe choice. The one and only solution is to find your perfect pair of stretchy pants. Latex, cotton, spandex, silk, elastic bands, drawstrings...the choice is up to you! They are practically begging you to never put your fork down, because they are ready for the challenge. What more could you be looking for in a pair of pants?! That's right, NOTHING, because they're perfect.
Why would we want to change a good tradition anyways? Our country's early ancestors sailed over to America on the Mayflower bringing with them their culture, hope for a better tomorrow, and the very first style of stretchy pants our sweet land of liberty has ever seen. Very airy, plenty of wiggle room, and just enough sex appeal to convince your family you've still got it going for you in the good-looks department.
There is nothing more important that expressing gratitude and counting our blessings. This is why Thanksgiving is among my favorite holidays. It allows us to step back and realize how truly lucky we are. So, this year, when going around the table and sharing your thanks, make sure you give your stretchy pants the thanks they deserve! And get excited, because just about a month from now, you can break them out again come time for Christmas.
