Life. The word itself is so small, so simple of a word yet it proposes such a complex meaning. A meaning that many question - what is my purpose? What should i do with my life? The complexity of the thought is hard, but it is also necessary. Sometimes our parents, ourselves, or even things, plan out our lives for us, from the minute we are born they pave a path for us to follow. This path could be one that we desire, but it could also be nowhere near what you actually want. Going back to the life topic, you only have one and it's yours. It's not families or friends, but yours and with that said it's important to live your life. But dealing with life and having it be yours can be hard. Picture this, you come to a four corner intersection, with four signs: Doctor, Travel, Marriage, Fame. Your standing and looking at these opportunities, all of which are amazing. But as your looking at them you can't decide, and deep down inside you know that you don't want any of them, but your path so far has set you up for them. What do you do then? Not only do your parents want this, not only have you devoted your life for this, but you are now left with the dreadful question of: what to do with my life? All your life you have worked so that you would never cross this intersection, so that you would never feel the confusion. Sometimes it's inevitable to feel this way, maybe life is giving you a second chance. Take it.

The “What should i do with my life” question comes with stages:

1. The initial, “i don't know what to do with anything anymore” feeling sets in. You begin to question things that had seemed to be stuck in stone. Things that you were sure about now seem so far fetched.
2. Then, your identity is questioned. “Do i really like this, or did this just get installed in my brain from something or someone else?”. “Is this what i want, or what they want?” You forget yourself….funny since it's you….yes it's possible.
3. Third, how are people going to react? Is it worth telling? You may begin to question what people will think of you. What are you supposed to tell them - “everything we ever wanted was only what you wanted” or “i'm not the person you think i am”. Then, how is their reaction going to come - acceptance? Or denial? Will they be ashamed?
4. Realization. This is, in my opinion, the most important stage. You will eventually realize that you need to do this for yourself, for your happiness, you need to remember yourself and find yourself. You will realize that the opinions of others - whether it be good or bad - means nothing compared to what the true meaning of your life is.
5. Tell People with confidence. Dont hide this, share with others, even if you don't know what you want, tell them what you don't.
6. Rewind….Uh Oh….Now there is about one million ideas in your head - should i do this? I like this? Maybe i’d enjoy this? I want this! Maybe i don't want this. I want to do this to! Good….don't freak out….you're considering things that you may want to do, brainstorming ideas that may have been hiding in the back of your mind. Take advantage of this, and use it.
7. Sort. Now you have ideas of what you may want, but obviously you most likely can not have them all. Put aside ones that were a “spur of the moment” idea, and keep the ones that you can't go a day without thinking about - those are the real gifts.
8. Think. Really think, play out situations, visualize it. What feels right, what does not? It is just in your mind, so take it out and try doing some research on it, or even testing it out - if possible. Really consider your ideas, wants and yourself. Make sure you think about yourself and who you are.
9. Don't think. For a day or even a week, just don't think about people, things, jobs, goals, schools….anything. Relax, live normally, go out to dinner or watch a movie with friends. Make Sure that you are not “trying” to think about your life. However take note of things that do spark a thought. For example, if you are considering becoming an interior designer and the sight of a unique tile at the restaurant causes you to think about that, maybe it means something. Keep track of those things….they could hold a lot of answers. If you can't go a day without thinking about something than it is pretty important - even if you don't initially see it.
10. What do you know. You may know exactly what you don't want - set it aside. Do you know what you definitely want in your life? A person, an activity….for example if you know you 100% love photography, keep it….it is one of the few things you know. Do you know where you want to be? Where you don't want to be? Give it some thought.
11. What do you feel. Easy now….it's just you and no one else. What do you feeling? Do you have a gut feeling that something is just right, and just what you want? Do you feel that what your current path is, is just completely a mistake? Feeling is the most powerful thing to have. To feel something - whether it be love, or a right decision - is something that is truly hard to find. Think for a moment. Have you ever felt something….really felt something….smiled like a goofball because you got this feeling, that you know what you want or you are in love. Sometimes, the worst battle can be between what we know and what we truly feel.
12. Take the feeling, take the knowledge….and go. You know you want it and even more you feel it. So go for it, take it and leave. Book that plane ticket, start saving money to open that business, sign up for that audition, say i do, or whatever it may be….embrace it. For the first time in your life, you know, you feel, you have found a meaning to life and more importantly….the meaning to your life. Others may doubt you so go prove them wrong. If they don't approve, don't listen. This is your life, your feelings, and what you want….and what you will get. Then….it clicks.

It's hard….very hard. It's frustrating, and it can feel like you have lost everything. You don't remember yourself, you don't know what to do with anything. Your mind turns into a hurricane, and the the barriers that protected you are getting destroyed. The seems that once held you together are now falling apart. It sucks….you don't even know what you are feeling or who you are. Nobody knows the real you, nobody knows your thoughts, or what you have really felt….your empty yet full. When that feeling strikes, don't fear it but face it. This may seem like a punishment - a joke. But it could be the best present that you have received. Don't take advantage of it - embrace it, figure it out, really focus on yourself and share with people the real you….don't be afraid, don't hold it in, for that is the worst thing….to appear calm, yet have a tsunami in your mind. Don't worry if you're not 100 percent sure of anything, it takes time….the best things take time. But run with the idea of change and run towards what you know and what you feel is right. You are in charge of your destiny, you can change, control your happiness, make a life for yourself, conquer your fears, go after your dreams. Most importantly…..always remember that sometimes you have to lose yourself, to find yourself.