As much as I hate to say it, everyone lies. If we could live in a world where people always told the truth, that'd be great. I mean, sometimes the truth hurts more, but personally, I'd rather someone just be flat out honest with me. That's not the world we live in though, and a lot of people lie.
Now I'm not saying all lies are bad. For example, using a white lie to keep a surprise party secret or lying to protect a secret a friend told you. Those are pretty logical reasons to lie. Some intentions for lying are okay and others are completely awful. The severity of the lie increases with intention. If a person is using a lie to deceive you and ruin your reputation and self esteem, that's bad.
I've been lied to multiple times by friends and acquaintances. Usually I tend to notice when someone is lying, but it took years of practice and personal experience. For some people, it's easy to detect a liar, but for others it isn't. So for the sake of anyone who finds difficulty in scoping a liar, or for anyone who's just interested, here are a few signs (Note: signs may vary depending on the personality and the circumstances of the liar).
1. Difference in personality
People will usually go through mood changes while telling a lie. If a person is normally calm then all of a sudden becomes a nervous wreck while telling a story, there's a high chance that they're lying. The same applies vice versa if a person is usually anxious but becomes oddly calm.
2. Where's the logic?
If what a person says starts sounding completely illogical, he or she could be lying. I remember someone bragging about jumping off a 20 foot bridge while drunk without getting injured. Personally to me, half of that story sounds slightly illogical. Actually listening to the story and listening for illogicality can expose a liar.
3. Defensiveness
The sign says it all. Let's say that you're getting the vibe that someone is lying to you. It's a normal reaction to ask questions to try to further understand the person. If this specific person starts getting overly defensive or freaking out over the questions you're asking, that could be a sure sign of a lie being told. The lie could definitely be less believable if the individual gets stumped upon answering the questions.
4. Persistence
This sign depends on the person. During high school, I got into an argument with someone. This individual decided to start spreading lies and rumors about me to ruin my reputation and friendships. This person was very persistent in their actions using every opportunity they got to spread a lie about me to someone. They didn't stop until they felt accomplished with their actions. Now this is an extreme case, but I still stand by the sign. Liars are persistent when they tell stories in order to try convincing people that they're telling the truth. Either that or...
5. Just dropping the subject
Some people will try to drop the subject after telling a lie. Usually this is due to them feeling uncomfortable in the situation they're in. Under certain circumstances, take note if someone immediately drops the subject they're talking about and refuse to talk about it later on.
6. Body Language
This kind of falls under the "difference in personality" sign, but is slightly different. Usually what falls under body language is hand movement, eye contact, facial coloration, etc. If a person normally talks with their hands, but all of a sudden stops while telling a story, that may be a sign of a lie being told. It's something you have to try paying attention to.
7. Excuses, excuses
Has there ever been a moment when you're planning on hanging out with someone, but all of a sudden they bail? Then later on when you ask about it, they give a weird excuse like, "I had to take my cat to the vet" when they don't even have a cat. That's obviously a simple example, but you get the picture.
8. That's not what you said before?
Does the story change per person? If it does, that could be the sign of a liar. Either that, or a person who exaggerates a lot. The world may never know...
These are just a few of the signs of a potential liar based off my personal experiences. As I said before, each sign varies per person. You should also remember that the better a person is at lying, the more difficult it is to notice these signs. Some people have mastered the art of lying and make it that you can't even tell if what they say is a lie or not.
I use to have a friend who lied the majority of the time. It went unnoticed for quite a few months because there were never any obvious changes in behavior. I didn't know about any of the other signs to look for at the time. Normally, these lies were used to manipulate me or make me upset at something or someone. It wasn't until I got to know the individual better that I started noticing the pattern of lies. Afterwards, I cut off the friendship. My word of advice is, never associate with someone who constantly lies to you.
