After you’ve gotten past age ten, you slowly start to realize, not everybody can win first place. The world’s a competitive place and defeat is inevitable. Unfortunately, the word failure sounds so negative that we can’t even think to associate it will new possibilities. Not getting a job, having a bad audition, bombing an exam, missing a deadline—we’ve all been there. I’m so practiced in failure that I have made an art out of coping with it. Failure can open doors and can make for really positive beginnings. Here are some steps (that are more obvious than you think) to help your failures become successes.
1. Embrace it for what it is.
Excuses. We’ve made them since the first grade when our dogs ate our homework. And the thing is, we’re pretty good at making excuses, so good in fact, that we often convince ourselves of our own excuses. For example, when you don’t get the job, our first instinct is to blame others, or to blame it on things that were out of our control (that’s often times how others try and comfort you too). I’m telling you to accept it for what it is, don’t wallow in it—there’s a difference.
2. Reflect in a constructive manner.
So you failed, okay, so, why? What skills are you lacking? Don’t over think it. Often times, the reason for our failure is more obvious than we think. This is also a great opportunity to reflect about the opportunity and make sure it’s right for you. Reconsider if you still want it.
3. Make a plan.
So you’ve decided that you still really want this. Maybe you need more experience, or to work on a particular skill. Get a tutor, grab a friend, and get practicing! Set a schedule and stick to it. Tip: During all of your hard work, never lose sight of your intention and happiness (it’s happen to me too many times to count).
4. Follow through with that plan.
Just do it!
5. Stop comparing (Failure is subjective).
Often, we feel like we aren’t good enough after failure. We measure that by the means of other people. Often times comparing ourselves to others is the main reason to our unhappiness. You didn’t interview that job for them, you did it for you, right? So try to change your mindset. Next time, do it better than you did this time.
6. Try Again.
Don’t let this defeat you. If you decide that you want this bad enough, fight for it. Those people that are successful had to fail first. Once you feel confident about your skills, go for it!
7. Remind yourself of what you’re good at.
So you can bake a mean cupcake or can shoot some hoops. Remind yourself of your past successes and of all the little things you do well in life. Plus, cupcakes are always a good pick-me-up.
Trying these steps will be a process. Everything good takes time. So remember we’re not in a race, forget the stigmas that tell us what we should or should not being doing at this age. Create your own good; don’t let others determine your happiness.
