One of the scariest things about moving into a dorm room is your roommate. She will see you at your most vulnerable points--in a towel, while you're sleeping, when you're homesick and crying on the phone with your mom. You're forced to trust this total stranger not to kill you in your sleep or sell your stuff on eBay.
In the best cases, your roommate will turn out be your best friend, however, most of the time, this just doesn't happen. Hopefully, even if you are very different you can peacefully coexist, but sometimes your roommate is just the absolute worse.
If you're in this situation, you've probably been advised to talk to your RA or RD who will tell you to have a conversation with your roommate about what is bothering you. However, this is awkward and often only heightens the resentment and tension in the room that has already been thriving. I mean, who wants to be told that everything she does angers someone to the point that she cringes at the sound of her name? That's not a conversation anyone wants to have.
So, if you're like most and you prefer to avoid confrontation and stick to more passive aggressive techniques, one of the easiest ways to get your point across without actually having to communicate is to leave notes. Invest in some colorful post-its--the stronger your hatred for your roommate the more post-its you'll need--and write down things they need to be reminded of and stick 'em somewhere they're sure to be seen. Some prime spots are the back of the door, on her mirror, or over her bed. Be sure to sign with something cute like, "Xoxo, roomie :) <3." The smiley face and heart are crucial to the efficacy of this strategy.
One of the biggest differences between roommates that can be a huge problem is level of cleanliness. It is extremely difficult to live with someone who is not on the same page regarding sanitation. If you live with someone with poor hygiene and you like a clean and odor-free room, stock up on some strong Febreze--maybe even some disinfectant--and spray down her unmade bed as soon as she leaves for class and leave a cute note reminding her that beds look better made. On the other hand, if you're a messier person living with a neat-freak, introduce her to the wild side by leaving a wet towel on her bed every now and then.
Not only is cleanliness an issue, but so are boundaries. A clear way to set up boundaries is by labeling all of your possessions as yours down to the garbage bag. This is sure to prevent her from using or touching any of your things. An even clearer way to establish boundaries is to create a line down the middle of the room with some blue tape. Leave a note to indicate each side and to remind her of the reason it's there.
The most important thing to remember in order to use these techniques effectively is that you should never speak to this person. This is the best way to avoid confrontation. Silence is golden.
