"Being in college and in a relationship is hard." Yeah...I guess that statement is maybe 10 percent true...if you are a weak, easily-manipulated specimen who can't control yourself when in the presence of members of the opposite sex. And if you're that bad, then you shouldn't be in a relationship at all, but hey, what do I know? If you're in a relationship or not, there's always going to be that one guy every time you go out that is just a little too overly-aggressive with the pick up lines and attempts to hit on you and your friends. Here's some tips on how to curve the hell out of them easily so you can carry on with your night and tequila shots in peace.
Jenna Marbles has always been a favorite of mine, but this is just gold. I mean this move is really obnoxious and a little over the line, but it will 100 percent every time get a guy to walk away from you -- possibly with a strong chance he will try to get you medical attention or a DD, but nonetheless he won't be sexually interested in you anymore and that's the goal, right?
Now, you can always go with the obvious approach, "Sorry, I have a boyfriend," even if you don't have one because even if all guys don't always respect women, they at least respect other guys and back off of another guy's girl (most of the time). However, since the horrible invention of the "side chick" became a real thing, that might not be the most effective choice of words with someone who is pulling out all the shots to try to get you to go home with him. Just remember to keep eye contact with him when saying it because no one ever can look you in the eyes when they're lying and that also shows confidence in yourself. He won't argue with you then or ask for proof! If he still doesn't back off, resort to the fake sign language.
Another great strategy to get out of an awkward situation, not only with guys, but in any situation where you need an escape plan, is to use the fake phone call and here's how to do it! If you see a guy about to approach you and you want to avoid him altogether, just pull out your phone and fake answer it. You can even pretend that it's too loud wherever you are and run away to a "quieter place" so that you can hear the fake person on the other end of the fake phone call better.
A fun approach to avoiding those Grade A creepers is to start screaming and get all excited with your friends about whatever song is playing at the bar, club, etc. that you're at and go run to dance with your friends. It literally does not matter what the song is that's playing, it could be the national anthem for all I care you just have to be so excited about it that you almost pee yourself to really sell it to the guy that you're more interested in a dang song than you are in him.
If none of these work, you at least have the fallback option to use as many times as you want throughout the night that you have to use the restroom. No one will ever question you why you need to go or why you were gone for so long. It's just an unspoken accepted act for girls to just be in there at least six times a night. Excuse our tiny bladders, low tolerance, and need for an emergency escape from the world for 23 minutes at a time.
Now you'll be ready to take on any social event and feel confident enough that you will be able to enjoy your night without being interrupted or paused for any Lord Disick wannabe trying to pick you up. You're welcome.
