So you’ve landed here - I don’t know what place it is for you - maybe it’s heartbreak, disappointment, feeling downtrodden. Whatever it is, it feels like the never-ending story, doesn’t it? Like a pit you can’t get out of, a feeling you can’t shake off. Let me start by saying: it will end. It will get better. There’s that quote - everything is okay in the end, and if things aren’t okay, then it isn’t the end. So please hold on to that. But in the meantime, if you’re feeling low, I have some easy steps to helping you choose joy even when it seems impossible:

1. Let yourself feel the bad stuff.

I know you’re going to want to distract yourself, or just get to the point where you convince everyone you’re fine, but trust me, rushing that won’t help you. Feel it, acknowledge it, let it run its course. Doing this now is a lot better than processing your negative emotions three months from now, crying in a cookout parking lot. Like...we’ve all been there, but this is better. Get it over with.

2. Know that you’re in control of your attitude.

My psychology teacher said the most brilliant thing the other day...that emotions make wonderful servants, but terrible masters. You can’t control how you feel, but you can control your reactions to your feelings. Don’t let your emotions control you. When things get bad, respond proactively. Choose not to bemoan things, or dwell on things past their time, and choose to focus on the good things you have in store and the things you can control - like your words, attitude, and mindset.

3. Fake it til you make it.

We’ve already done the emotional bereavement - at least a little. And you know what you have control over. So when you’re going through your day, if you act positive, think positive, talk positive, you WILL be positive. Countless psychological studies have concluded as much, that you can trick yourself into being joyful by believing you will be. I’m not saying you’ll never feel negative emotion nor am I encouraging acting in a way which is artificial, but by only expressing what is positive and kind that you authentically feel, those thoughts and emotions will permeate the rest of your mentality.

This isn’t an end all, be all guide - but I’ve found it works pretty well! A lot of prayer and social support never hurt either, but don’t forget that your joy starts with you. And I hope you choose joy, every day, even when it’s hard.

Keep it kind, guys.

Alli