The most common question I get asked is, “Why Carter?” No, it’s not my mom’s maiden name. God bless her, but I really did not want to go through the long, stressful, tedious process of changing my name through a court order all to become “Kayla Chin.” When I told this to my mom, she laughed and said she understood.
Every case is different, but for me, it was less about what I was changing my name to so much as it was about simply changing it. Regardless, I did do my research for a few weeks, trying to find every last name in existence, and I set a few ground rules: 1. No naming myself after a favorite fictional character of mine (as much as I hated to admit it at the time, I knew I’d live to regret doing this at least by the age of 40), 2. No picking a last name that comes from an ethnicity that I do not come from so that I don’t culturally appropriate, 3. Pick a normal, “boring” last name (going back to #1, I know I’ll thank myself for this later), and most importantly, 4. Pick a last name that sounds good with my first name.
With all these rules in mind, I eventually settled on Carter. This happened around October 2015, but I had to wait until my birthday in May of the next year to change my name. Waiting for May to come around felt like waiting in line for Splash Mountain at Disney World; it was agonizing. Luckily for me (read: sarcasm), the process of changing your name in my particular county via court order was so complicated and convoluted that I would need all that time just to figure everything out. Eventually, I figured out all of the forms I would need to fill out, in what order, and at what time, without getting help from anyone or any service, just the good ole’ interweb.
Something that I learned the hard way that you absolutely need to know if you’re planning on changing your name for whatever reason is that actually changing your name is only the first step of the process. You see, regardless of whether you change your name by court order or marriage, your name is only changed legally. Your name isn’t actually changed anywhere else. You have to do that. All the court or marriage does is legalize the name change, but then it becomes your responsibility to change your name for any service or person or company that uses your name. So basically, everything.
I’m lucky that I’m only 18, so my list was fairly short compared to others. I had to change my name at/on:
-birth certificate
-passport
-social security
-DMV
-voter registration
-the bank
-my school
-my work
-my old high school (this one is optional, I did it because I wanted my diploma with my new name)
-USPS
-social media
-Doctors offices’/insurance
-any other personal accounts (spotify, amazon, etc)
This may sound like a government-paperwork-and-people filled nightmare, but it wasn’t all that bad. I managed to change my name at all of these places, and all under a month of when my name change was legalized. Most of the time, I was able to mail in each place's name change application, but if I ever did need to talk to someone, they were usually really nice. It didn’t cost a fortune either, in fact, almost all of the services were free except the birth certificate and the DMV. There are services out there that will change your name at all these places for you, but honestly, if I can do it without any assistance, I think anyone can.
If you’re considering changing your name for a reason besides marriage or divorce, just make sure it’s a decision you’re not going to regret 10 or 20 years from now because the process is a pain. If it’s really important to you, like it was for me, then it will be worth it. Also, make sure you talk to your loved ones or anyone that could possibly be offended first so they understand it isn’t because of anything they did. To start the process, locate the courthouse of the county you live in, and either visit them in person, call them, or check out the website for their specific name change procedure.
People take for granted how much your name influences your day-to-day life until they don’t like their name anymore, then they begin to realize the power a name carries. I’m changing mine so I can move on and have a clean slate. It’s as simple as that. Oh, and I don’t plan on changing my name again when I get married. This name change represents that I am in charge of my life and that I am strong. Never hurts to have a reminder of that.
