Everybody knows what catcalling is, and every girl knows that amazing feeling when you're minding your business and someone yells a lewd remark at you.
Lately, I've seen a lot of catcalling happening around, and I've noticed that some men have lost their touch at it. Honestly, I don't feel objectified enough. Have no fear! I will retrain you all in the art of catcalling.
1. Yell at her
How else are you supposed to get that girl's attention if you don't shout at her until she notices you? If you don't she could miss out on some A+ flirting.
2. Start with an objectifying nickname
You know something like hey sexy lady, or wassup sugar tits. Something that will really grab her attention and let her know you mean business.
3. Make sure you sexualize her
Girls LOVE it when you make a lot of inappropriate comments about their bodies and what you want to do to them. Make sure you tell her in detail what you'd like to do to her after you take her on a 'proper date'. Girls really love this, trust me.
4. Make sure she knows how big you are
Make sure she knows your size, or else she'll want nothing to do with you. Even if she didn't ask, or acts like she doesn't want to know, just tell her anyways.
5. Try to grab a feel
I mean you pretty much earned it after all of this super hard and obnoxious catcalling, right?
6. Heckle her
She's just playing hard to get. Pester her over and over again until she gives you the time of day. Don't give up. Don't follow her for too long, though, or she may think you're a creep, and we wouldn't want that now would we.
7. Tell her to come with you
Don't even bother asking her. Just tell her she's coming home with you tonight. Girls love being bossed around. Throw a wink in there at the end just to seal the deal.
8. LEAVE HER ALONE
Believe it or not, girls hate being yelled at. We hate being objectified as we try to walk home. We hate being hit on by strange and creepy men. Why do you have to yell at that woman walking down the street? What makes you think that being rude to her will make her want to go out with you? It's not cute.
PSA to all men: stop catcalling. It's rude, unneeded and at times can be hurtful or scary. Try politely walking up to a girl and giving her a sincere compliment. Just a suggestion.
