Be A Girls' Girl An A Boys' World

Be A Girls' Girl In A Boys' World

Men are never gonna share their power, so we've gotta take it.

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Picture this, it's day one of kindergarten and you are ready. You're wearing your sparkly silver converse, your mom perfectly placed your favorite pink bow in your hair and your cinderella rolling bookbag is as smooth as ever. You walk in, sit down, and immediately start chatting with the little girl wearing the purple bow in her hair. Instantaneously, you two are total besties.

You do everything, and I mean everything together. You even carve your names into the tree behind the playground, get sent to the principal's office for "defiling" the tree, making it out of their alive and swear to be besties forever.

Fast forward eight years. It's the first day of eighth grade and you walk into the gym (where they send all the students to sit and wait before class starts) and you desperately need somewhere to sit.

You glance over and see your longtime bestie sitting where you always did the year before. You walk up with a confident smile, but as you go to sit down, she sticks out her hand and says "Sorry, someone's sitting here," You laugh because obviously, this is a joke, until you see the boy from the football team sauntering over.

He confidently takes the seat, YOUR seat, smiles at you, and throws an arm around your best friend. "Sorry," he says. "I guess this is mine now, but you can sit here," and he points to his other side. So you do. "Perfect!" says your bestie as she giggles at her new boyfriend. You laugh it off at the moment until you grow up and realize the phrase "this is mine now" is all too haunting in the life of a girl.

There comes a point in a girls life, usually puberty, when everything starts changing. We all know the basic changes, boobs, periods, etc and as impactful as those things are, what really throws a hurricane in the social ecology of a teenage girl is the way she starts to feel about boys.

Suddenly everything is complicated.

Girls are no longer friends, but obstacles standing between you and the boy your crushing on. Your besties are no longer just for sharing secrets, but for gaining intel on all the other girls in your class. And other ladies are no longer there for you to look out for, but for you to walk all over. Life revolves around getting the guy, and while guidance counselors blame hormones, I blame the boys.

Okay, so I don't totally blame men, but they certainly aren't helping.

After the point of puberty, when girls suddenly find boys cute instead repulsive, guys shift too. They start to observe the newfound, competitive behavior amongst girls and they eat it up. Guys begin to realize that a girl will do almost anything to get the guy, and while there are girls all over the place defying this statement, there are those who feed into it wholeheartedly. And those are the girls the guys listen to.

The energy of competition feeds the new energy developing in boys and they start to feel like the girls are on this earth for them. I want to make it clear that this statement is absolute, one million percent false. There is no justification for a man believing he has a right to a woman.

But the men in this world are not gonna support us, so it's up to you girl to let your actions show that you're not living to get the guy, and betraying all your gals to get the cutie from psychology class does not say that. So why then do we do it? What would make a girl feel like she has to ditch all her girlfriends just to land the right man? Well, society.

We live in a patriarchal society. Most of our principals are men. Most of our respected celebrities are men. Most of our doctors are men.

Most of the people determining the future of our country are men. Authority is attractive and society is telling us that men hold it, because, for the most part, they do.

Girls are told through television, music, literature, etc that they need to grow up and get a man, so that becomes their focus as soon as they are old enough to feel it.

But in a society where girls are already at the disadvantage, shouldn't we question this status quo?

Shouldn't we want to see more women in our government representation?

Shouldn't we want our girls in Hollywood to be able to defeat the Harvey Weinstein of the world? Shouldn't we want to see our sisters, mothers, and aunts living strong independent lives?

It's definitely not our fault that history has made us out to be the lesser gender, but the men are never gonna share their power — so we've gotta take it.

The first step to taking back your lady power, being a girls' girl.

Go out, meet some girls and appreciate them for all that they are. Tell them they're a goddess and that their highlight is super on point and that their presentation on the effects of climate change was enlightening. Stick up for your girls over anything else, support their decisions-even the wild ones, and be there for them when they make a not so great one.

Forgive them with more sincerity than you knew you could, and apologize to them even when you don't get it.

Oh, and don't ever EVER leave your girl alone at a party so that you can go off with some boy who probably doesn't even have a liner for his shower curtain.

Boys are great and they can be so fun and can make us so happy, but they will never get you the way that your girls will. They will never know what it's like to be afraid to walk home after dark, and they will never know what it's like to work twice as hard to earn half the respect you're owed, and they will never (apart from a select few) know what it's like to nail your winged eyeliner on the first try.

Boys will be there with their fleeting charm, and their passing looks, and their deceitful words, but a real girlfriend is something you should never pass up. Throw your arms around her, tell her that her butts look great, and she's a genius, and support her with all your might cause when it all comes down to it, you're gonna wish a girl would do that for you.

Another woman's success should be a victory for you, not a threat. And while I wish we could wait around for the men to recognize the true value of a girl, we haven't got the time for that.

So go.

Find your girlfriends and go out for drinks and start planning how to help each other be your best selves, cause it's up to us ladies. After all, the future is female.

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10 Things I Threw Out AFTER Freshman Year Of College

Guess half the stuff on your packing list doesn't really matter
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I spent the entire summer before my freshman year of college so WORRIED.

I also spent most of my money that summer on miscellaneous dorm stuff. I packed the car when the time finally came to move in, and spent the drive up excited and confused about what the heck was actually going on.

Freshman year came and went, and as I get ready to go back to school in just a few short weeks (!!), I'm starting to realize there's just a whole bunch of crap I just don't need.

After freshman year, I threw out:

1. Half my wardrobe.

I don't really know what I was thinking of owning 13 sweaters and 25 T-shirts in the first place. I wear the same five T-shirts until I magically find a new one that I probably got for free, and I put on jeans maybe four times. One pair is enough.

2. Half my makeup.

Following in the theme of #1, if I put on makeup, it's the same eyeliner-mascara combination as always. Sometimes I spice it up and add lipstick or eyeshadow.

3. My vacuum.

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One, I basically never did it. Two, if I REALLY needed to vacuum, dorms rent out cleaning supplies.

4. Most of my photos from high school.

I didn't throw them ALL away, but most of them won't be making a return to college. Things change, people change, your friends change. And that's okay.

5. Excess school supplies.

Binders are heavy and I am lazy. I surprisingly didn't lose that many pens, so I don't need the fifty pack anymore. I could probably do without the crayons.

6. Cups/Plates/Bowls/Silverware.

Again, I am lazy. I cannot be bothered to wash dishes that often. I'll stick to water bottles and maybe one coffee cup. Paper plates/bowls can always be bought, and plastic silverware can always be stolen from different places on campus.

7. Books.

I love to read, but I really don't understand why I thought I'd have the time to actually do it. I think I read one book all year, and that's just a maybe.

8. A sewing kit.

I don't even know how to sew.

9. Excessive decorations.

It's nice to make your space feel a little more cozy, but not every inch of the wall needs to be covered.

10. Throw pillows.

At night, these cute little pillows just got tossed to the floor, and they'd sit there for days if I didn't make my bed.

Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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I'm Not The Person I Was In High School And I'm Not Sorry I Changed

I'm sorry, the old me can't come to the phone right now.

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If those who knew me in high school hung out with me now, they probably wouldn't recognize me. If my friends from college hung out with me around two years ago, they probably wouldn't recognize me. It's safe to say I've changed... a lot. I definitely find the change to be for the better and I couldn't be happier with the person I've become.

In high school, I would sit at home every night anxiously waiting to leave and go out. Now, honestly, going out is the last thing I want to do any night of the week. While everyone in college is at a fraternity party or at the bars, I prefer to sit at home on the couch, watching Netflix with my boyfriend. That's an ideal night for me and it is exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do a couple of years ago. There's nothing wrong with going out and partying, it's just not what I want to do anymore.

I craved attention in high school. I went to the parties and outings so I could be in Snapchats and photos, just so people would know I was there. I hung out with certain groups of people just so I could say I was "friends" with so-and-so who was so very popular. I wanted to be known and I wanted to be cool.

Now, I couldn't care less. I go to the bars or the parties if I really feel like it or if my friends make me feel bad enough for never going anywhere that I finally decide to show up. It's just not my scene anymore and I no longer worry about missing out.

If you could look back at me during my junior year of high school, you probably would've found me searching for the best-ranked party schools and colleges with the best nearby clubs or bars. Now, you can find me eating snacks on the couch on a Friday night watching the parties through other peoples' Snapchats.

Some may say that I'm boring now, and while I agree that my life is a little less adventurous now than it was in high school, I don't regret the lifestyle changes I've made. I feel happier, I feel like a better person, I feel much more complete. I'm not sorry that I've changed since high school and I'm not sorry that I'm not living the typical "college lifestyle." I don't see anything wrong with that life, it's just not what makes me happy and it's not what I want to do anymore.

I've become a different person since high school and I couldn't be happier about it. I have a lot that's contributed to the change, but my boyfriend definitely was the main factor as he showed me that staying in can be a million times better than a night out. My interests and my social cravings have completely transitioned into that of an 80-year-old grandma, but I don't regret it.

Change doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can bring a lot more happiness and comfort. The transition from high school to college is drastic, but you can also use it as an opportunity to transition from one lifestyle to another. I don't regret the lifestyle flip I made and I couldn't be less apologetic about it.

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