Life is nothing more than a series of events, a series of interactions, that shape the person we become. It is our duty to understand how the world influences us and react to it. Did your boss yell at you at work? Did you hurt someone? Did they hurt you? How will we know who we truly are, if we do not communicate with ourselves? Within this article, I have provided you with some tips that I use to keep myself in touch with myself. For my peers, truly this time of our lives will be the most stressful, the most difficult and the most disheartening of times. Millennials in their 20s are having their existential crisis (I can include myself in this category), and questioning who they are, who they should be, and how to make a difference in this world we live in. We are the small fish in a big pond, and we are striving to be sharks, not minnows.
1. Do not be afraid to speak.
Wow, sometimes I really should take my own advice. Nonetheless, language is the external spirit of who we are. Take pride in your speech. What we say is usually the only things we are remembered by. Use your voice to make a difference even if you only give someone a compliment. Make your words count.
2. Be conscious of the world around you.
One of the biggest regrets you will ever make is zombie walking through life and going through the motions. This is very difficult for a lot of reasons. When are we moving within the unconscious and the conscious? Are we living in the experience of life, or are we living in the idea of how our life should be?
3. Have meaningful conversations.
Stop talking about petty drama: Kim Kardashian’s butt and the Kylie Lip kits. PLEASE. For the love of all things good and great, talk with meaning. Talk with diligence. Speak of things that you are interested in. Stop talking about people; start talking about ideas, dreams, ambitions. Stop focusing on all of the things that might upset you, degrade you, misrepresent you. Remind yourself and the person you are talking to, that, above all else, there is a reason you have a voice--use it wisely.
4. Relax
College has bumped our existential crises up to the month before we graduate; please remember, that no matter what your degree (mine is English, not very lucrative but I’m handling it) YOU WILL MAKE IT AND YOU DO MATTER. As someone who studies books written by a bunch of dead people, don’t worry about that internship you don’t have yet. Don’t worry about the thesis you haven’t started on (although you probably should start working on it; time’s a tickin’).
5. Love something passionately
No, I did not say “someone,” I said “something.” Adopt a cat, knit a sweater, roll up your sleeves and plant a garden. LOVE SOMETHING. Turn off your phone and LIVE. Do not live vicariously through someone: Live. Be. Engage. Participate.
6. Learn to cook
Look, if you don’t know how to cook for yourself yet, I have a Paula Deen cookbook I can let you borrow. I didn’t add this to the list to supply you with some grasp of intelligent sustenance, I added this because there is something about cooking that makes you want to be better. It makes you want to grow a garden, have a dinner party, become a sommelier: food is the signifier of humanity.
7. Acclimate yourself with a different culture
I started college as a nursing major, this was the first of many mistakes most people make within their initial years of college. I didn’t know myself well enough to say: “Skylar, you would be the worst nurse in the universe.” In the end, I changed my major to English with a minor in Italian and I began a journey to understand myself and the world around me. This is my personal opinion, but I think Italian might truly be the language of the soul. If you ever get a chance to study this language or listen to someone who speaks fluently: it is nothing short of listening to the fluidity of a melody.
<<Grazie, Santo Francesco de Assisi>>
Above all, even if you do not want to learn another language, engage yourself with people who are different than yourself. Consistently remind yourself of the differences in people: respect these differences.
8. Create a ritual for yourself
I’m not talking about voodoo or witchcraft. I’m talking about a routine that makes you want to live every single day of your life with an exuberance, with an excitement for life. For myself, I set aside one day of every week to be completely and entirely alone. It is a repositioning of my brain, my mantra, my soul. Think about this: for the six out of seven days per week, you may listen to or experience things that might make you really happy or things that might make you want to headbutt a dump truck, but this one day is for filtering and sifting through the necessary information to either internalize or to dispose of.
9. Live to laugh
Yesterday I fell down in front of the journalism building at my school, was I embarrassed? Absolutely. But I am with grace (kind of) and pride and I laughed like the first time I saw Julianne Moore’s pinky toes popping out of her shoes at the Cannes Film Festival (you’re going to want to look this up: absolutely hilarious). Really, just don’t take yourself too seriously in this life. We are meant to enjoy this world, enjoy the time we are allowed and embrace the inevitably of failure.
10. Find your soulmate
Your soulmate does not have to be a lover, a boy, a girl, a person. This soulmate can be your mother, sister, brother, best friend or dog. This person is typically there for you in quite a many situations that range from the belligerent to the exultant. Above all, learn to trust this person with your life. Learn to be trustworthy. Their soul is yours, and yours is theirs. This person should understand every molecule of your being. If you aren’t sure as to who your soulmate is, ask yourself this: Who is going to be the bridesmaid that could potentially crash your wedding? Have someone in mind? Okay, this is your soulmate.11. Live with purpose
If you are lucky, and you have already identified with your “purpose” in life: I congratulate you because I haven’t gotten to that part yet (I’m getting there, just give me a minute). What I mean by this step is: engage yourself with people, organizations and groups that help you grow. Drinking and partying is fun (believe me, I have had my share of hangovers), but spend time diligently. Enjoy the presence of others. Love with an undying love. Speak with a voice that may quaver and shake, but know that it was spoken. Stop eating fast food and enjoy the indulgences of life (I’m talking about the piece of cake you may have skipped on yesterday, go back, grab a slice and be proud you have experienced the cake that no one else has). I don’t want to look back on my life and think, “Man, I wish I could have eaten that.” When a professor suggests a book, as I have learned from experience, just go ahead and read the book. More than likely they have better taste in literature than you do. If you do not like Indian food, if you do not like ketchup or mustard or vegetables, my advice to you is this: please just try the damn food before you say you don’t like it. Life is about trying. If you don’t try, you won’t know.
