Being secure in who you are is hard to do. As you get older you realize that you have to rely on yourself instead of others. Here's a few ways to make sure that you love who you are.
1) Get yourself a bitchin’ group of besties.
You can’t say “screw you” to every single person, you need some kind of support group. Keep a few people close to your heart. As you grow up you start to lose friends, and that’s perfect! You only need like 4 or 5 people to always rely on and who know your deepest, darkest secrets. Those 4 or 5 people will always tell it like it is, support you, and help you stay true to yourself because they know you best.
2) Stop comparing yourself to others.
You are you. They are them. It will always be that way so learn to appreciate who you are.
3) Walk with your head held high, not buried in your phone.
It makes you stand out. Perfect posture, a fast pace, head held high. These qualities will get you noticed. Go ahead and wear a smirk on your face so that people who look at you know that you don’t care what they think. Use your long (or short) legs to get yourself places. Some people would call it a strut. You go ahead and you strut hard core!
4) Don’t let other people’s comments get you down.
Ok, this one I still have problems with. Generally, I’m good at brushing other people off, but there’s one person who’s comments I just can’t let go. I’m working on that. I’d suggest that if you have someone constantly commenting things about you, drop that bitch. You don’t need that kind of negativity! But, if you’re like me and that one person is a family member, you have to try to stay calm, look yourself in the mirror, and let your confidence override those comments.
5) Don’t be that person who always needs a group.
You have to pee at a group event? Go. You want to go to a club’s meeting on campus but none of your college friends want to go? Go by yourself. You’re at a party and want to explore the rest of the venue but your group of friends is content staying in one place? Take out your phone, yell over the music that you’ll be back, and go explore. With your phone out and your friends aware of what you’re doing, if you’re gone for too long they’ll notice and they’ll call or text you. (When at a party there is safety in numbers, if you go away from your group please use caution and keep your wits about you).
6) Call your parent, guardian or sibling.
If you’re having trouble feeling confident, pick up the phone and call your mom. She misses you, she loves you, she wants what’s best for you. You don’t have to tell her everything (I tend not to tell my mom about crazy parties and boys), but she’ll help you get back up when you’re feeling down. It’s what mom’s do. My sister makes me feel better about myself too. She’s older so she’s already gone through what I’m going through and she’s good at comforting me because she’s ok so I know I will be too.
7) Stop saying “sorry”.
This, like number 4, is something I struggle with. If your friend’s grandma dies, be sorry. If you break something that doesn’t belong to you, be sorry. If you bump into or step on someone, be sorry. If you send 83 texts because you want someone’s attention, if you have the right of way and someone cuts you off, if you’re right and someone else is wrong and you defend yourself to them…DO NOT BE SORRY. Stop apologizing all the time, it’s a sign of weakness. You are strong, you are beautiful, you should be happy, you should not be sorry all the time. If it’s something that you can’t control and it happens, don’t be sorry. This is the “stop giving a f*ck” part. You think that you should be considerate of people and have amazing manners, and you should (don’t be rude to your superiors or your wait-staff), but don’t over apologize.
8) Stop judging others.
If you don’t want others to judge you, then you have to stop judging them. Live your life how you want to live it and let them live theirs. I’m not saying that you should like everything that other people wear or say, but don’t judge their character and personality because of it.
9) STOP GIVING A F*CK
Following the above 8 steps, I’m rather sure that you’ll achieve this goal. Wear what you want to wear and what you’re comfortable in. Wear as much or as little makeup as you want. Go party and go crazy, or stay in and watch movies. This life, it’s yours. Do what you want to do. Be who you want to be (B-A-R-B-I-E). Just be happy with who you are. Make yourself comfortable in your skin, in your clothes, with your tattoos, piercings, hair color, PERSONALITY! Don’t let other people run your life, because that’s what it is…your life. Go enjoy it however you want.
Know that you're enough, you're loved, you're making the best of things, you're trying your best, and you're being the greatest you can be.
