Step one— Delete the first sentence a few times
If you lose count of how many times you hit “backspace,” then I’d say you’re on the right track. Agonize over that opening line, as you watch it stare dully at you from your computer screen. If you write by hand, you get bonus points for furiously scribbling out every syllable that you hate. Just make sure that if you are going to cross something out, you draw the line all the way through it, and don’t go too far and accidentally sever ties with anything you thought was good enough. Repeat this step as necessary with every version of your introduction, and try not to let the panic set in at how much work you’re not accomplishing. This is how it is supposed to be.
Step Two— Stop and think about your life choices
You have successfully made it past step one, which means that now you have time to wonder if the paragraph you just finished writing really sets up the ideas you are trying to convey. What did you want to talk about in the first place? Was it even worth it? Maybe that idea isn’t going to work out. Pace back and forth. This is best accomplished in an area with minimal space so you have to turn around at shorter intervals, therefore increasing the amount of anxiety it induces.
*disclaimer: in most cases step two inevitably leads back to step one. Don’t panic, this is all part of the process!
Step Three— Examine the final product
If you have held on to your writing implement and your tenacity for this long, you have a decent amount of your project finished and can now begin to think about the final product. Here is where your imagination comes in. Picture the conclusion. Imagine yourself reading through your finished product. Treat it like you’re one of those terrible parents on “Toddlers in Tiaras” who only care about winning. See any gold stars at the top of your hard work? Can you envision it becoming a bestselling novel or poem or whatever it is you are writing? By now you should be enjoying a healthy dose of self-doubt. Its effects may be crippling. Your work is never going to be good enough, no matter how hard you try. It is ok to take some time now and find a comfy spot on your couch or bed or favorite chair and just sit and wonder why you even tried. Once you are there, move on to step five.
Step Five—Listen to a different voice
I’m not saying that any of those last four steps are terrible ways to be a perfectionist. In fact, Steps 1-4 are perfect for any perfectionist. But I’ve gone down this road so many times in my life. I don't think I’ve ever started a project and not lent my ear to the tantalizing call of perfectionism.
We’ve all heard it. That voice from the perfectionist within us we never knew we had. It whispers to us of greater artists, writers, singers, and poets. It seduces us with our own carefully constructed comfort zone, begging us to never leave, to stay where we are meant to be, to allow the fear of failure to wrap its arms around our bodies like a warm blanket. It is easy. Easy to give in to our own insistence that our voices aren’t worth hearing.
Recently, this feeling has seized my heart, and I’ve felt as though I have my heart in a chokehold, barely allowing myself to breathe in, let alone breathe out. My own perfectionism has overcome my ability to find beauty in what used to inspire me, and I struggle to express my feelings about anything. I stopped writing for a while because perfectionism convinced me that if my art wasn’t good enough, then I wasn’t good enough.
But that isn’t true. None of it is true. My worth as a human being is not tied to my ability to do great things. Perfectionism stifles the very things that make my humanity worth living: vulnerability, failure, learning, growing, changing my mind (way too often). Embracing my imperfections is exactly what allows me to freely express who I am. If I pretend I am perfect by stifling my voice in order to satisfy some recipe for being “good enough,” then I ignore the beauty and the opportunity in my mistake-littered learning.
Steps 1-4 really are the basis of anxiety and feelings of worthlessness. It is ok to be picky about your art. But it is ok to let go, and to not let the mistakes you make define your worth. If you struggle with steps 1-4, remind yourself that you are perfectly imperfect, and find ways to let yourself enjoy creating things.
I’m going to be honest with you. I wrote several different outlines for this article about overcoming perfectionism, and I could probably fill a word document with all the things I’ve deleted from this article. I’ve mastered the art of perfectionism. Maybe it’s time I tried something new.
