How To Be Mindful In Anger

How To Be Mindful In Anger

Let's take a deep breath.

The media and recent events have much of the nation appalled and fueled with an unpleasant emotion. In the midst of all the scandals and accusations, I present to you, How To Be Mindful When You Are Angry.

Anger is an interesting emotion. Anger lets us know when a boundary has been crossed. We tend to result to anger in order to protect ourselves or cover up vulnerable feelings.

Anger is natural. It can spark and catch fire quickly within our brain. When misdirected, anger can harm our physical health or damage our relationships.

Mindfulness helps train our attention to be present in the moment, free from judgment. In turn, allowing us to be greater in control of the depth in our actions. Instead of just simply reacting to a situation when angry, mindfulness helps create space between our thoughts and our actions.

That moment of space created can help prevent us from reacting out of spite.

How many times have you said or done something because you were angry that you wish you could take back? We've all made impulsive decisions in the moment, only to regret it later.

Being mindful in anger is not suppressing it. Instead, it is trying to connect with the direct experience of anger and find its root. Then decide what action you want to take next.

1. Stop fueling the anger: Cut off the stories you tell yourself about how you were wronged or why you should be angry. Instead, shift your attention to your body.

2. Notice the sensations in your stomach, chest, and face. Become aware of your heartbeat, notice if it is racing faster.

A lot of times when we are angry we tend to hold our breath and clench our teeth or our fists. Try to be mindful in your body position.

3. Feed your brain some oxygen. Anger typically generates a lot of pent-up energy within people. This makes us want to yell, scream, or punch a wall. Take a breath and try to release the tensions in your body.

4. Investigate the anger: Where do you feel it? What does the anger feel life? Notice how the sensations of anger change as you pay attention to them. What does your anger need? What do you need?

5. Continue to pace your breathing during this mindful exercise. Feel the power of your breath in calming the tension in your brain. Flowing oxygen to your brain will help you think with greater clarity.

6. Before you make any decisions out of spite, ask yourself: What outcome will result out of my decision? Is this really what I want? How can I clarify what my desires are in a manner that is going to make a difference and cause the least harm?

Cultivating mindfulness in anger is a skill that anyone at any age or position can benefit from.

Imagine if our world leaders took some time to take a deep breath before making a decision that could affect millions of people.

The moment of space between our thoughts and actions created by mindfulness, is a powerful tool in making decisions that will be beneficial for the most people.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Infectious Compassion

Give a Stranger Some Free Hope!

I am definitely no newbie to this; doctors, hospitals, medications, therapies, insurance, paperwork, and the waiting. The dreaded waiting. Often the cure is worse than the disease, but the wait amplifies the symptoms of said disease. 

Like I said, I am no newbie, but I also am not an expertise. If I were an expertise I wouldn’t need the doctors, and all of that goes with being ill. But one might come to believe that after 26 years, one would at least develop a thicker skin. I try to imagine how a great spiritual leader might advise me when I fall through a crack in our system. I ask myself what lesson can be learned, for my future, and the avoidance of other cracks. I even try to learn from others who have fallen, and pass forward any pertinent knowledge I have accumulated. 

Knowledge is power, unless you’re sick. Money is power, unless you’re sick. Knowledge and money give the sick more options, but sick is still sick. Dying is still dying. Death is still death. 

With all of my knowledge, all of my wants, all of my needs, and all of my wishes, only one thing has been a constant in dealing, coping, and even healing. It is actually very basic, but often the most elusive. A placebo of sorts, amazingly it is still in short supply, but high demand. 

One cannot bottle it, market it, sell it, or cure the sick with it. But it is the most contagious agent I have ever been exposed to. A touch, a smile, a hopeful gesture or word, and I am instantly infected. Once I am infected my only desire is to infect all around me. 

So here is the big secret, the elusive placebo, the virus I covet more than any cure some specialist, drug rep, hospital, or guru peddles: Compassion. 

Devastating news is just that much easier to take in when compassion is bound to it. I accepted a long time back that I would either die from my diagnoses, or with them. No cure in sight, just a hindered life. Even though I don’t like my illnesses, I’m okay with this, I am okay with me, who I am, who I turned out to be. 

We humans don’t have to like disease, or even accept it, in us or others. But could we at least show a little compassion? For a few seconds? A fake smile? Something? 

The next time you are having a wonderful day, think back to a day that was the exact opposite. Now, the stranger next to you? That just might describe their day. Would you have liked a miniscule amount of compassion on the day you remember? Might a slight exposure of infectious happiness have helped you? 

Commit a random act of kindness and infect a stranger with some compassion! Pass it on! 


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With The New Year Already Gone, How Can We Improve Ourselves?

Its Never Too Late To Make A Commitment To Making Yourself Better

As January begins, people always talk about how their news years resolution never work out. Most of the time, they are right. But finding a good balanced resolution can be key. The resolution shouldn't be impossible but it also should be able to challenge you and prove to yourself that anything is possible. Here are 3 resolutions that I think all of us should begin a February as a way to make ourselves the best people.

1. Being kind to those around us

This one can be quite tough. Sometimes we just have those moments where nothing is seeming to go right and there is only a few people to blame. Overcome those emotions of anger or hatred and instead focus on improving yourself. If you got yourself into the situation, you are more that likely to get yourself out of it. This will not only improve your image to that person who you know, but also to others who may be trying to get to know you better.

2. Don't be Lazy

Not gonna lie, this is one of the hardest resolutions for people to follow. A long hard day at work or at school can often be the breaking point for people and might force them to stop doing what is necessary. For students, it might be putting in the extra work or in my case, going downstairs to get something. Being lazy is a problem for all of us and I think the best way to fix it is to start thinking of ways to keep this resolution.

3. Keep a Positive attitude

When times are good, a positive attitude is easy to keep. But as obstacles cloud our path, our negativity grows more and eventually can't be stopped. Being one of the biggest pessimist I know, keeping a happy attitude can change more than just in our own personal lives. A smile or a laugh is all it takes to brighten up someones day. Remember if you are going through a hard time, someone else also is. Showing them a sign of faith and belief in them can give them the final push to overcome their conflict.

These three resolutions are meant to help us make 2018 a year full of laughs, memories, and improve on 2017. Each of these commitments to improving ourselves will also affect others around us. Good luck keeping these resolutions.

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