How To Be A Mermaid

Are you a bright young woman sick of standing, ready to swim? In "The Little Mermaid," Sebastian tells us himself that "up on the shore they work all day, out in the sun they slave away." And don't we all know it to be too true? I would definitely rather be "devotin' full time to floatin'" any day of the week. What's a poor girl without a tail to do?

1. Just keep swimming!

Although Dory is full fish, she can definitely be considered an honorary mermaid. She is the author of the ultimate mermaid mantra! When ocean pressure has got you down and your tail is hanging low, you just got to keep on swimming.

2. Get acquainted with the neighbors.

The more time you spend in the water, the more you will learn about the ocean and all of its wonderful creatures. Isn't that the best part of being a mermaid anyway? Until those gills grow in; you can grab a snorkel, mask and your very own flippers. Dive right in!

3. Put some seashells in your hair!

Or beads, braids, waves, whatever thing-a-ma-bobs you like! A little tangle or frizz is nothing to worry about. Just switch it up. The sea isn't constant, so your hair shouldn't be either.

4. Save the ocean!

A mermaid will always protect her aquatic friends and their home. Save the seas! Participate in a beach clean-up, or start a public service announcement about threats to sea-life. It's your home now too.

5. Purchase a tail.

Spells and potions not doing the trick? That's OK! You can now buy your very own mermaid tail. (Don't worry. I'll keep your secret.) Scour the Internet for the perfect one, as there are many styles available.

And for those not yet ready to complete their transformation, fins are also available.

6. Learn to speak whale.

Really, it's easy to do! What fascinating creatures these gentle giants are! Another shout out to Dory for this one. Start low and get high, like a whale song. Really stress the vowels and voilà! You're speaking whale.

7. Re-think the seashell bra.

Please also leave the starfish alone! They have their own lives to live. The shells, they may look lovely, but ouch! Talk about uncomfortable. Mermaids are active women. They need to be able to twirl and dive without worrying about a wardrobe malfunction. Save the seashells for a sitting suit, not a swimming suit.

8. Research the technique.

The wonderful ladies of "H2O," an Australian television show, have got it down. Enjoy an episode and see how the pros do it.

9. Become a pro.

You can be a professional mermaid. It's basically every girl's childhood dream come true. From appearing at birthday parties to performing underwater at the Weeki Wachee Springs Florida State Park, you can make being a mermaid your real life job.

Full-time, part-time or only in their daydreams, everyone has the chance to be a mer-person. Keep those tails flippin'!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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