I’m sure you see this posted all over every kind of social media, or at least some variation of it: “I just want to be happy.” I know we have all been guilty of doing this, even myself. The thing that most people do not fully realize is that being happy is not in what you acquire, but it's a mindset.
This past year I decided to make a change. I was fed up with the position and the mindset I was in, and I wanted to make a change to be better -- to be happier -- and I did just that. I’m not saying that my life is currently all rainbows and sunshine, but I’ve adjusted my mind to look past my obstacles. These are the tips/steps I used to get to a place where I’m the happiest I’ve ever been, and I hope even just one of them helps you too.
1. Don’t worry about things that don’t concern you or that you can’t control.
A lot of the time we stress out about other people’s problems or how other people act when we shouldn’t. I’m not saying be selfish and only worry about yourself. Help people when you can; however, do not dwell on their problems and make them your own.
2. Positivity/positive vibes.
I know this is a lot easier said than done, but you have to think positive/ look on the bright side. Instead of thinking certain situations will never happen or certain tasks will never be accomplished, think that it can happen. Just having a more positive mindset can improve your life significantly. Some days you will have to work harder at it than others, but if you keep it up, it will become a habit and almost second nature to you.
3. Take some time out for yourself.
We all have our obligations -- school, work, clubs and other daily responsibilities. There comes a time when all of those inconveniently collide together and our anxiety skyrockets (this tends to happen more than we care to admit). When this occurs and you feel mentally exhausted or mentally about to snap, put everything down. You need to put down your school work, your phone, and any other obligations you are currently facing and set aside an hour to do something for yourself that you find relaxing. This could be reading a book, putting in your headphones and listening to music, or even just sipping on your favorite tea and admiring the view from your window. When you come back to work, your mind will be clearer, more focused, and a lot less stressed.
4. Take a trip to “your place.”
We all have our own special, private place that every time we go there, it puts our mind at ease. It could be a secret mountain top, a quaint coffee shop, or even just a certain chair in your bedroom. Wherever this place may be, try visiting it at least once a week. If you can't physically get there, then try recapping some memories you had there.
5. Be confident in yourself.
Again, I know for some people this is easier said then done, but i’m not saying you need the self-confidence to the level of Beyonce -- well, at least not yet! You should, however, have faith in yourself that you can do the things you want to accomplish. Don’t compare how someone else succeeds to how you succeed. You are accomplishing your goals in a way that is good for you, not for someone else.
6. Surround yourself with good people.
Be around people who impact you in a positive way. These are the people who push you towards your ambitions, make you feel valued in the relationship you have with them, and you never have to question it. These are the people who will make sure you have a good head on your shoulders and won’t be afraid to tell you when you are being unreasonable. When you have people who do not treat you this way, you should either distance yourself from them or let them go.
7. Don’t let people’s opinions of you validate who you are.
As the infamous Taylor Swift has said, “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate,” which is why you shouldn’t let people who hate on you affect you or stop you from being you. Don’t let someone who probably doesn’t know you that well have that kind of power over you.
8. Be grateful of your obstacles.
Many of us had to experience certain obstacles in our life that most people normally wouldn’t have to. While it is unfortunate that they had to happen, don’t let them hinder you. Instead, embrace them and let them fuel you in your endeavors in life.
9. Take a risk.
Everyone’s risk tolerance (the ability to take a risk) is different, so what you take a risk on is up to you. Taking risks is quite beneficial for you. When you try something for the first time and discover the outcome, whether good or bad, is always better than the constant “what if.” All the wonder of what if leads to unneeded anxiety, stress, and sometimes, regret. Take that risk, whether it is trying a new drink, going on an unplanned adventure, or approaching someone you always wanted to talk to.
10. Have faith things will work out for the better.
Accepting rejection and defeat is always a hard thing to do, especially when giving something your all. It is just like the old cliche, “Everything happens for a reason.” There have been countless times that I wanted certain situations to work out and they didn’t, but I gave it some time and I was always led to something that that was much better for me, and looking back, I was always happy that it didn’t work out.
