“You’re being high-strung."
Little did I know, this phrase would weigh heavily on my mind every day for the next week.
Anybody who knows me well knows that I am incredibly organized, almost to a fault. I thrive on organization and tight scheduling. Google calendar, planners, and to-do lists — without them, I would just feel naked, or like a deer in the headlights, caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.
So when I heard my friend speak those four words to me, I was taken aback. Me, high-strung? That just felt so wrong, so weird. I have always been proud of my organizational and time management skills, and I did not stop to consider how others may have perceived me. According to dictionary.com, high-strung means "highly excitable, nervous, or edgy." But not the same "edgy" that I was aiming for when I considered earlobe piercings — this "edgy" means something different.
Why is it that I function this way, while others carry themselves about more extemporaneously? To be honest, it brings me more peace of mind to have a certain degree of autonomy. It is relieving to have control over one aspect of life, especially if everything else never seems to fail expectations. I am no control freak, but it is satisfying in the least.
After internalizing these four words, I set out to be more casual, unplanned, impromptu. As if on cue, that Thursday, another one of my friends invited me to go to Texas A&M with him. He had made plans months in advance to be his friend’s date to the Tridelt Date Party and needed a companion to keep him company on the long drives to and from Rice. In total, he convinced three of us saps to come to College Station with him.
Naturally, my gut instincts warned me otherwise, but my heart wanted to do something wildly unplanned. Just think of all the work that you could be doing, my conscience persuasively reasoned as I relayed all of the possibilities through my head.
I chose to go.
Of course, my work for the week had pretty much ended, and I was not particularly preoccupied in the coming days, so I could afford to take some time off and make the trip. But at the same time, it just felt so outlandish. I am so used to going through life cautiously walking on a tightrope of scheduling and spending my educational career in a constant grind mode, so the concept of free time was sort of freaky.
In short, the trip was a good decision on my part, no regrets included. However in true fashion, we camped out at a coffeeshop and cranked out work while our friend attended the much-anticipated date party (but I did manage to buy a cool Kappa Kappa Chino shirt!). Although we did not get to paint the town red or explore the plethora of nightlife at Northgate as much as I would have liked, I am improving, one small step — or hundred-mile road trip — at a time. My trip taught me an important lesson: It is OK to be spontaneous. After all, I did not die from mounds of work and punishment that would normally have prevented me from going.
So, how does one become spontaneous? One solution: Plan ahead. Sure, it sounds ironic and counterintuitive, but if you can, try to include some padding in that packed schedule of yours. This way, when life throws time-draining curveballs, you’ll be better equipped to handle them. But also keep in mind that you cannot — and should not — live life planning for every possibility. It’s OK to fall behind every once in a while, but just use that as motivation to chug along. Things have a weird way of working out.
Not quite this:
Perhaps more of this:
Is it wrong to like having structure in one’s life? For my sake, I hope not. But honestly speaking, I welcome having a certain degree of spontaneity in my life as well. Although I still have much room to improve, I’m making good progress. Maybe next time, when I’m wilding in College Station, I will do more than just drive a hundred miles to do homework.
