I know how you feel, trust me. I struggle with this, too.

I'm a people pleaser, a "yes girl". I'd do anything for anyone, and sometimes that is a good thing. It's nice to be liked by people, but it's exhausting to walk on eggshells around everyone.

Lately, I've been faced with a challenge; not with saying yes too much, but instead struggling to speak up at all. I have found it's easier to sit back and act as if nothing is bothering me because I'm too afraid to bring things to people's attention. I fear rejection. I fear judgment. I fear humiliation.

So, I say nothing. I smile and go on my way as if I'm tough as nails.

But I've come to realize that I don't feel strong and confident in myself anymore. I'm timid and soft-spoken.

That's not sexy.

Although we have this idea in our minds that people of higher power will respect women if we "sit still and look pretty", it's quite the opposite. I'm tired of not saying what's on my mind and pretending that I don't have feelings. That's not cool anymore. Women have a voice, and they need to use it.

If you like a guy, tell him. If you have an idea for a class project, tell your group about it. If someone you're working with pisses you off, tell them!

Say something.

Okay cool, so now you said something. That's a start. But you need to believe in yourself. Have confidence in your feelings.

If your weak area is relationships, then I'm right there with you, girlfriend! I'm all about making my S.O. happy and making sure they always feel supported. I love being kind, thoughtful, and sweet. It's something that has always come naturally to me. What's difficult for me is communicating when I want something, or if I want something to change.

I hate confrontation. After watching my parents' marriage unfold, I swore I'd never be a relationship where fighting was our language. But speaking up and saying something kindly is not fighting.

Lately, I've had to remind myself that communication will not, and should not, end in disagreements. If you find that when you bring something to your S.O.'s attention and they totally freak, then clearly they have their own issues they need to work out.

If you want there to be more effort, you need to speak up and say it. Guys need a push, they're not always aware of what they are or are not doing. They need us to spell things out for them sometimes and remind them that we can be assertive, too.

Yeah, we are supportive, loving, and caring, but we can also be total badasses with strong minds. We want things our ways sometimes, too.

Sometimes we want flowers on a Tuesday, and Chinese randomly. That's normal. But us relying on thinking they can read our minds would be totally foolish of us! You have to tell him when something makes you happy so he knows to keep doing the little things.

Don't make him feel like he has to cross oceans to put a smile on your face. That's not what strong and confident women do. They make their partner know that they care about them, and appreciate what they do. They also tell them when they feel things need a little mending or more spark. Strong, "assertive" women, in this sense, means telling your man what you want and how to make things better between the two of you.

Please, don't mistake that for being aggressive. I'm no means a relationship expert; nowhere close. But over the last few years, I've learned a lot about my relationship with myself, and being timid in a relationship will not keep your man around or keep him loyal.

So, I'm trying something new. You should, too.