What 'The Golden Girls' Taught Me About Being A Woman

What 'The Golden Girls' Taught Me About Being A Woman

Sophia, Dorothy, Blanche, Rose: Thank you for being my friends.
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From a very young age, I remember sitting in my grandmother’s lace-covered living room, watching Walker, Texas Ranger for hours until 4 p.m. rolled around. At this exact time every day, you could hear the faint jingle echoing off the plastic-wrapped sofas: “Thank you for being a friend.” These words modeled my childhood. After school, I would rush home to make the 4 p.m. showing, right before Beverly Hillbillies. During my long rounds of chemo, Golden Girls would be my solace, the familiar voices and stories bringing me back to my great-grandmother’s plastic sofa, as if she were sitting there with me. I never grew up having a strong, independent, older female presence. These four ladies were like my grandmothers, telling me stories about their lives, teaching me lessons from their numerous mistakes. They taught me about how to be a woman, how to love, how to respect yourself, how to love yourself, how to be fearless, and how to be a friend. In honor of Hulu and their graciousness, for allowing me to officially binge one of my favorite shows, here is what I have learned from them over the years:

1. Wear confidence as well as they wear shoulder pads.

You should go through life with a strut in your step, as if your “Stan” is right behind you. Confidence exudes beauty, and you should wear, do, and be whatever makes you feel beautiful, whether you are skinny, fat, black, white or anything in between. Define your personal style no matter how outrageous. Whether you are a bombshell with hair to Jesus like Blanche or a dainty, classic woman like Rose, find yourself and wear it on your shoulders.

2. Embrace your inner Blanche.

Girls, it’s okay to be a slut (you too, guys). Blanche was my inspiration, ever so more now. As a woman in a different time, it is more “acceptable” now be single, independent, and “free spirited”. Even during a time where women were expected more so to be married, Blanche embraced her single life and enjoyed the company of many, may suitors. Even when Sophia called her a slut (as she did many times), she reflected a strong attitude that said: “fuck society, I will sleep with whomever because it makes me happy and independent”. We should all become a little Blanch-esque.

3.You don’t need a man to make you happy.

These ladies go through men like they go through cheesecake. From the Cuban womanizer, the little person, Stan (on many occasions), the beloved Miles, Sophia’s Sicilian, and the gay artist, they go through the same woes as modern day woman experience. In the end, they know that their independence, careers, and love for each other supersedes any fling.

4. Find your inner strength and perseverance.

It is hard not to crumble during times of lose, tragedy, and pain. When Rose had her heart attack, she fought hard to stay alive and rebuild her life. When Sophia’s son died, as a mother, she stayed strong and didn’t lose herself in grief. Letting yourself succumb to the consequences of tragedy will not allow growth. With the help of your friends and your own strength, you can overcome anything.

5.Letting someone disrespect you, even in the smallest ways, is never okay.

Even when rape, assault, and abuse were not so active as they are in today’s culture and news, The Golden Girls touched on issues women face today and every day. When Rose was sexually harassed by her dentist, the girls told her to go to police, to raise her voice and prevent other women from letting this happen. When Blanche’s daughter was being emotionally abused, she stood up for her, advocating that you don’t need to suffer for the sake of “finding a man”. Respect for yourself is the only thing you truly have; you must not let someone take that away from you.

6. Never believe that you don’t deserve true love.

This is one thing I constantly struggle with. Dorothy, a lonely divorced school teacher, found true love with the oddest of people, Blanche’s uncle. Being very Blanche-esque, I struggled with the fact that I deserve to wear white, that I deserve to be loved unconditionally and whole-heartedly. No mater what you have done, who you have done, and how many, you are worthy of love and nothing less. Thanks, Sophia, for making me feel loved.

7. You will always have that one person you will always love, and that’s okay.

Everyone is Dorothy at one point in his or her life, and they have a Stan. I, myself, have a couple of Stans. The connection is there, the relationship isn’t perfect, but fate is not in their favor. They are the loves you aren’t destined to be with, but create the largest impact. You grow with them, learn about yourself with them, love them, and they stay with you forever. Even to the end, when Dorothy remarries, Stan is there for her, holding a piece of her heart and wearing his on his sleeve. It’s okay to feel that love, even years down the road. It’s the most beautiful of loves, the ones that don’t die.

8. No matter what, your girlfriends are your soulmates.

Despite all the bullshit, the fuck bois, the heartaches, the happy times, your true girls will be there for you. Even when you part your separate ways, they will be your home.

Thank you for being my friend, girls.

Cover Image Credit: Touchstone Television

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.
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Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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13 Taylor Swift Lyrics About Love

“We could get married. Have 10 kids and teach em how to dream."

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Taylor Swift is the only reason I've gotten through every love, and every break-up. Here's a list of 13 lyrics/quotes about love from Taylor Swift's albums.

“Losing him was blue like I’ve never known. Missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met. Loving him was red.”

"Red" from the album "Red." This song perfectly describes every feeling that radiates through your entire being when you love and then lose someone.

“I wish we could go back, and remember what we were fighting for. I wish you knew that, I miss you too much to be mad anymore. I wish you were right here, right now, it’s all good. I wish you would.”

"I Wish You Would" from 1989. Sometimes I wish it was acceptable to just blast Taylor Swift during an argument because I totally would.

“You learn my secrets and you figure out why I’m guarded. You say we’ll never make my parents mistake.”

"Mine" from Speak Now. Let's surpass everyone's expectations.

“My baby’s fly like a jet stream, high above the whole scene, loves me like I’m brand new.” 

"Call It What You Want To" from the Reputation album. Once in a lifetime, there's someone who looks at your scars and calls you strong and brave, instead of damaged.

“My mother accused me of losing my mind, but I swore I was fine.” 

"Dear John" from Speak now. Love makes you do crazy things.

“One night he wakes, strange look on his face. Pauses then says ‘you’re my best friend’. And you knew what it was. He is in love.” 

"You Are In Love" from the 1989 album. Swift gives me chills with this song. Every time you think you're in love, you realize that the last time wasn't even close. True love, happens once or twice, and not for everyone.

“You pull my chair out, and help me in. And you don’t know how nice that is, but I do. And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid. I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny cause, he never did. I’ve been spending the last eight months, thinking all love ever does is break, and burn, and end. But on a Wednesday, in a cafe, I watched it begin again.”

"Begin Again" from the Red album. One of my top five favorite songs. Real love shows you how you should've been treated all along.

“Why would you wanna make the very first scar? Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?”

"A Perfectly Good Heart" from the first Taylor Swift album. Some people are only here to take. Never to give or share.

“The rain came pouring down, when I was drowning that’s when I cold finally breathe. And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean.”

'Clean' from 1989. It can take years, even lifetimes, to finally feel free from love.

“There I was again tonight, forcing laughter, faking smiles, same old tired lonely place. Walls of insincerity, shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face. All I can say is it was, enchanting to meet you.”

'Enchanted' from Speak Now album. Love at first sight?

“Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I’ll be waiting all that’s left to do is run. You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess, it’s a love story, baby just say yes.”

'Love Story' from Fearless album. This song makes me want to take a chance and escape with a stranger.

“I once was poison ivy, but now I’m your daisy.”

"Don't Blame Me" from Reputation. I'm only better when I'm with you.

“We could get married. Have 10 kids and teach em how to dream.”

"Starlight" from the Red album. Only certain people are worth growing with.

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