When you have anxiety, many different situations can prompt it to come our full force, whether it be public speaking, taking a big exam, or having conflicts with friends and family. Often times (and I am totally guilty of this), people with anxiety tend to avoid circumstances that might agitate their fears and apprehensions. At a concert in front of the pit, we might say, "Oh, that crowd is huge. My anxiety would never let me live in there. I'm not going in." Or we might pass up an opportunity to venture somewhere new because perhaps that journey denotes going up somewhere high or open or where we don't speak the language.

Something that gets me anxiety going is being in unfamiliar places, away from my loved ones, for a long period of time. I'm not really an adventurous person, so the thought of going out and exploring uncharted territory on my own scares me. Well, I'm afraid of that and I thought it would be a good to study abroad for a semester. Naturally, you can imagine, I was shaking in my boots when I came here. Separated from everything, my family, my friends, my life, for four months. It struck fear into my heart. So why, you're probably asking, in the hell did I decide to study abroad? Well, folks, that brings me to my point.

I decided to study abroad because it was an opportunity that scared me so much, I had to do it. That sounds weird, right? Well, it's totally true. A friend of mine initially piqued my interest, and I started looking into the possibilities and options. I searched further and further, and eventually I became so invested in this idea that it had to become a reality. Each search brought with it a little bout of anxiety. "Oh my God, it's how far away from home?" I thought. "I'll be gone for how long?"

I couldn't stop thinking about all of the things I'd be missing while I was away, how I wouldn't see my loved ones, how I'd be separated from my way of life for months. It was terrifying. But, at the same time, I started to think about all of the amazing things that would come with studying abroad. All the travel, experiencing different cultures, getting to live in another country...it overpowered my fears. I submitted my application to the international office at my university, was accepted into the program, and a few months later set off on my journey.

Now, come the really scary part: actually living in a foreign country where I essentially knew no one at a new school in different way of life. If I was terrified before, I was absolutely paralyzed with fear now. I was stuck here with no way back home for the next four months. My anxiety was having a field day, throwing every possible concern and apprehension at my brain. "What if you don't make friends?" it asked me. "What if you hate it here and have no way to get home?" It wouldn't stop.

As time wore on, however, my anxiety started to lessen its questions, because I told it to shut up. Just like I let the amazing possibilities of study abroad overshadow my fear, I allowed the right-in-front-of-me realities of study abroad to take charge of the situation. Yeah, I was homesick. Yeah, I missed my cats more than I cared to admit. But, I started to miss things in a less of a I-wish-I-was-back-home-right-now way and more of a I'll-see-it-again way.

Studying abroad has actually taught me more about my anxiety than I ever thought I could know. Being by myself in a foreign country, I had to learn quick and in a hurry how to deal with it on my own. I couldn't grab my mom or best friend and have them talk me through it. Particularly depending on the time difference from home, I really had to figure out how to get it through without anyone's help.

it required a lot of introspection, determination, and patience, but I think I (at least mostly) got a grip on how to handle my anxiety completely by myself. My first instinct now isn't to rely on someone else. I know that it's me who's in charge of this situation. I've learned how to take control of my own fears and apprehensions and shut them down. I know that, most of the time, anxiety is just a figurative wall standing in between me and my next biggest adventure. All I had to do way to climb over that wall, and I finally discovered how to do that all on my own.

I am forever indebted to study abroad for teaching me so much about myself. It helped me to find my sense of adventure, and how to not let some crazy scary possibilities keep me from exploring and discovering all of these new things. Yeah, something bad might happen, but am I really going to live my life around the possibility of something going wrong? Am I going to let that stop me from traveling and experiencing things I never dreamed I'd do? Nah, man. I have too many adventures to go on for that mess.