So you two have been dating for some time now and you like them a lot. They FaceTime you every night, you have countless inside jokes and they even brought lunch to your job that one time you left your wallet at home.
Still, you find yourself asking, is it too soon to get intimate?
For some couples, this is a major step in a relationship. The timing is almost always indicative of the future and the seriousness of a connection when it comes to sex. Having sex too soon may make it seem like you're not particularly looking for something long-term (i.e., one night stands), while waiting too long to have sex may leave your partner feeling neglected and unloved and maybe even drive them away.
The ideal spectrum of time is somewhere in between the two, and it's up to every pair to decide when it's right to take it to the next level. The consequences for rushing or delaying sex can cost one the relationship if they are not careful.
Sex brings a lot of new aspects into relationships. The after effects of sex can lead to an influx of emotions once we feel as if we have some type of ownership of that person. Intimacy creates a strong attachment and sense of entitlement. It is literally a hormone called serotonin that is released when one starts to catch deep feelings for their partner. One may begin acting jealous and controlling, which can cause conflict in the relationship. One person may start feeling less appreciated than the other due to a faulty sense of expectation.
For that reason, it is important that before two people enter a sexual relationship that they understand the terms that they stand on. For one person, sex may instantly mean exclusivity and for another, it can be as casual as a coffee date. Miscommunication about what sex actually means in regards to the relationship at hand happens often because we do not ask pertinent questions beforehand.
Everyone should have their specific questions that they ask before having sex. My first is “How long has it been since you've had sex?” I ask this question to get a gauge on how often a man is willing to change sexual partners. The second question I ask is “When was the last time you were tested?” I ask this question because if they haven't been tested since the last time they've had sex, that puts me at a risk when choosing to sleep with that person. The third question I ask is whether or not they are engaging in a sexual relationship with someone currently so that I know exactly what I'm gambling with. The necessary questions may vary for everyone, but it is important to ask them so that you are fully aware of the entire situation.
Honestly, there is no specific time period in which couples should have sex because each connection is unique in itself. It's is all about how comfortable two people are with their bond and how clear of an understanding they have of one another's needs and expectations. One should choose to have sex with their significant other when they can trust them and feel confident that they are both on the same page. So whether that's on the first night or your wedding night, it's all up to you. As long as you're smart and aware of the situation everything should work out.
