It comes as no surprise that Snapchat has many fans. Who wouldn’t love sending photos of yourself with a dog filter or fully contoured? It’s a fun app that let’s you take silly photos, dramatic photos, videos, or whatever else you want to send without the commitment through text or iMessage. Not only has it blown up locally in the United States, but all over the world. It connects us with friends, strangers, fun articles, and even news outlets. It has really changed the way I view technology.
As a person with severe anxiety, I’ve had a love/hate relationship with Snapchat since the first day it came out. I would download it then realize how quickly I disliked it. When I got tired of my friends asking me, “Did you get my snap?” I would do it again and continue the vicious cycle until I got to this very moment. As I scoured my brain for what I would write about for my next article I realized that the answer was on my phone in the form of a small yellow square with a ghost in the middle.
Let me first start off by saying this is not a criticism of the actual app itself but the feelings induced by it. I don’t even want Snapchat. I don’t even want a phone most days but it’s the 21st century and I’m weak.
Most days I feel obligated to go on social media. Don’t get my wrong; I appreciate how social media allows me to keep in touch with my family and friends. I would never say that I hate it because I truly don’t, but I absolutely detest the way it makes me feel. By going on Snapchat, I am constantly reminded of how inadequate I am. By this I mean my looks. I see beautiful people snapping their days at the beach in tight bikinis with clear skin and beachy waves. I’ll see girls go out in tightly fitting dresses having the time of their lives with stunning contoured faces and I’ll look at myself with my glasses, acne prone skin, and my athlete’s body slowly depleting and feel a sense of sadness. By using filters such as the contour or the one with the golden lips and butterflies, I see myself in a way that I wish I could be instead of who I am.
The second reason I’m not a fan of Snapchat is the way it makes me feel so lonely. I have so many friends in person and on social media but it doesn’t hurt any less when I see these people going out without me. As juvenile as that sounds, would you ever want to know when you’re left out? Social Media, especially Snapchat, has proven to me that you can’t hide anything from anybody. So the next time you’re sitting in your house wondering why your friends aren’t answering text messages, check Snapchat because I can almost promise you that you’ll find your answer. It gives people the power to hurt others and get away with it.
My final reason is how powerless it makes me feel. I lose it if I find out someone deleted or blocked me. It makes me feel like something is wrong with me as a person. I am constantly checking on my social media as if it were like a child needing food or attention. Who sent me a snap? Are they answering the one I sent? Is it a message or just spam? It has gotten to the point where I’m not even using it for fun but as a necessity to continue on my day. It feels as easy as taking a breath and that is a terrifying thought. I’m constantly checking to see if my feelings are being validated. This is absolutely no way to live. I’m not sure which I blame more at this point; my anxiety or social media. But the message from all of this is within myself. I must find out who I am and learn to accept it instead of letting technology dictate my self worth.
To those struggling with the same type of issues, take a closer look at yourself. Put your phone down for a bit and focus on the things that make you happy. Although it may take some time, I am slowly pulling myself further from social media and focusing on the world around me. I urge you to do the same before you end up like me.
