When you tell someone that you don’t have a major the first thing they do is tell you it’s okay. The second thing they say is that you have loads of time to decide. The third thing they say is that lots of other people don’t have a major or will end up changing it. The fourth thing they do is ask if you have any ideas.
The first thing I do when I hear these things is nod. The second thing I do is think about how soon I will have to decide. The third thing I do is think about how all my friends know exactly what they are doing. The fourth thing I do is lie through my teeth.
I’m halfway through the second semester of my freshman year and I still don’t have a major and honestly it doesn’t seem like I’m any closer to picking one. Everyone tells me that at least I’ve discovered what I don’t want to do, but that seems like a small consolation to me.
One of the worst parts about not having a major is the fact that it has made my year feel like another year of high school. Of course socially I have had an amazing college experience, but academically my year has been similar to high school. Yes, I’m not in class from 8-3 or going to the same class every day, but in a way it still feels like high school. In high school everything you’re doing is in preparation for college. Without a major it feels like I’m studying for some far off thing. It doesn’t feel like I’m studying to be anything.
That’s the most depressing thing for me. I hear all my friends tell me about their education classes or their engineering classes or their science classes. All classes that will help them do their job in the future. They are so excited about what their futures hold and all mine holds is uncertainty.
Uncertainty. That’s the bottom line. That’s the scary part of being undecided. While everyone else can answer the "where will you be in five years" question, you can’t. You might not even be able to give an educated guess.
While it’s always good to hear that not having a major isn’t a big deal, I think it’s hard for people who have always had a major to understand what it’s like not to have one. They don’t understand the stress and the annoyance it causes. They don’t understand why introducing yourself is the worst because they don’t have the same four things thrown at them in every conversation.
Feel free to keep telling me that it’s okay not to have a major, but also understand why I don’t think it’s okay. Be able to sympathize with me in a way that isn’t saying I'll figure it out soon, because it never feels that way. Be open to listening to my fears even if you can’t relate.
One day I’ll have a major. It might be in a day, a month, or a semester. I don’t know. Until then I will undeniably hear: it’s okay, you have time, lots of people are in the same boat, and what are your ideas?
