We often see how everyone grieves in different ways and get through something that brings us pain at the slightest thought of hurt memories. But the question that everyone asks is how do you cope with constant pain? And honestly, there’s really no right answer. We find that we do whatever it takes to push away the very thing that leaves us in a vulnerable state. When it comes to the loss of a loved one we see that we avoid all activities that they once loved so that we wouldn’t be reminded of them. When it comes to losing a pet we see that companionship is painful and find excuses to not seek something else that makes us happy in fear of the hurt it can bring once lost.
Coping with pain feels as if your walking into a tunnel of darkness and you try so hard to fight in not letting the darkness overcome you, but most of the time it never works. We are so vulnerable that we are just sitting, waiting for the pain, memories, laughs and cries all to come rushing back, and eventually, they do. Everyone walks this earth with suppressed pain that isn't handled because it is easier to forget than to face the fear of picking up where you left off, and that would bring a world of ache compared to how it was left unanswered. I know most days I feel as if I’m drowning in my own ways of avoiding my issues.
But when do we know enough is enough? Everyone breaks and everyone has their moment where being strong is no longer an option and we let out our suffering. It is in our nature to show strength and not allow people to see our weaknesses, but I think that once we allow ourselves to be seen at our weakest is when we will find our way to cope. We try so hard to be strong for others that we don’t take the moment to help ourselves understand what it is that we need to get through something. And instead, we are haunted by moments, moments and flashes of memories that drive us insane because we can’t get back time from the very thing we loved and lost. Every grief is different whether it is for a person, pet, animal or even relationship. So maybe, just maybe, being vulnerable to someone, anyone is the very thing that we need in order to find our way to cope.
We all experience what it means to lose, but we all don’t experience such a loss in the same way. We may find similarities, but we always find many differences in acceptance, denial, memories, laughs and cries. I have lost many people in my life to gun violence and sickness and many were young lives that should have had many more years of life. But it was not anyone’s choice here on earth to let such tragedies take them away, one's actions may have cost them their life, but a higher power chose to not let them suffer and so it was. We can only control so much here on earth and the actions towards the lives left here breathing, walking, talking on earth are left in our hands. Emotions and mentalities are left for us to determine if we cope in healthy ways and not suppress, but deal with the loss at hand or to ignore and let it eat away at you until you decide to not it define you anymore. In the end, how we deal with constant pain is left in our hands, we decide how long we ignore or embrace what can’t be controlled.
