I can never quite decide if I love change or if I hate it with every fiber of my being. Sometimes, I look forward to new experiences and the mystery of the unknown. But, when it comes down to it, newness often brings a lot of uncertainty and confusedness. It seems that I like the idea of change a whole lot, but do not like to accept the reality of the newness at all.

2016 seems to be a year full of change for a lot of people. For me, that included living in the United States again, new jobs, relationships, dreams, and hardships. We’re always told that change is exciting, it’s wonderful, and it only leads to good things. But, as I’ve often found, that’s not quite the way it feels from the beginning.

The truth is: change is hard. We get comfortable with the way our lives are and when we’re forced into a new reality, it’s difficult to accustom ourselves. It’s so easy to get worn out, overwhelmed, and downright feel like giving up. In these moments of trial, we’re faced with two options: submit to the unknown or push it away.

When we can’t see the road ahead of us, the path we just left looks very appealing. It is so easy to feel that doing everything we can to get back to the way things used to be will make us happy again. It may make us content for a moment, but there’s a reason things changed in the first place: those circumstances are not for us anymore. Previous relationships, jobs, and circumstances served us in some way, but they had to change or else they would begin (or continue) to hold us back. It isn’t until we submit ourselves to an uncertain present and future that we can begin to appreciate this fact.

The changes I faced were hard for me at first. In fact, at times, they seemed almost impossible to deal with. I felt that it would be much easier to work to make things go back to the way they were because my new reality seemed far too difficult and unappealing. If something was good, why did it have to end or change? This was a question I struggled with for so long. Recently, though, I’ve discovered a possible answer: maybe it wasn’t really that good. Or, maybe continuing it would have made it bad. Or, finally, maybe it was just time to move on – there is a time and place for everything, and not everything will remain forever.

Once I realized this, I was able to begin to embrace my new reality. My new jobs made me realize that although I was stressed and under a lot of pressure, I actually loved what I was doing and developed new talents and interests in those areas. The end of one relationship helped me regain my confidence and independence. My new relationship made me understand what I truly deserved and made me realize I was putting up with far less for far too long.

So, the reality of change? It’s hard. It’s messy. It takes a long time. But it is so worth it.