Sometimes friendships last for a lifetime, but sometimes they end rather quickly. You might grow apart, meet other people, and eventually, lose touch, but sometimes it can be a sudden change. College is a prime example of how fast friendships can begin, change, and end. Freshman year is usually the time when you meet way more people than you will ever be able to keep track of. A small group will stick with you until sophomore year, a few of that small group will make it through all four years, but the majority will become acquaintances or someone you used to know.
Friendships ending happen more often than you think. Mine happened at the start of my sophomore year.
After we started hanging out we became so close so fast, but it didn't matter to me because I had a best friend to turn to. You understood all of my random quirks, were there when I was freaking out about nothing, helped me study when I didn't want to, and just hung out with me which I appreciated so much. We were both scared freshmen and we helped each other through the tough times. When we left for summer break I thought we would be friends for at least the rest of college, but man was I wrong.
When we returned for our sophomore year of college we hung out for the entire first week, no worries on the horizon whatsoever. A bright and shiny new year was what we had in front of us. I noticed a shift in our communication, something was different, it was less comfortable. Conversations got stiffer, and shorter until they didn't exist at all. The exclusion was more often and more often as the weeks went on.
After a while, I didn't hear from you at all.
I didn't know what to think about this at first, but then my mind went straight to thinking it was all my fault. I would think to myself, "What's wrong with me?". I spent days questioning what I did to make you cut me off so suddenly. Eventually, you gave me a reason, but it was one that hurt me more than you will ever know. I care so much about my friends and I try so hard to be there for everyone.
I made new friends soon after our friendship ended, but your sudden choice to end it caused me to wonder what my new friends thought about me constantly. It still does to this day. I feel like my friends may change their minds about me at any moment in time. What a horrible way to live day by day.
When I meet new friends, the worry of rejection is constantly in the back of my mind.
