Being short was not a choice I made myself. I didn’t wish this upon myself, yet everything will always be harder for me to reach, I will always be questioned my age and people will never fail to ask me “How’s the weather down there?” I know I am not the only one who suffers from this dilemma so to help all of my fellow “shorties” out there I have developed an easy guide on how not to talk to short people.
1. May I use you as an armrest?
No, you may absolutely not, thank you. This is my first thing I will discuss because it's rude, it's annoying, I can't even handle that.
2. Oh, you must be 12 years old.
If you have to consider and question their age just don’t say anything. Please, we struggle enough getting ID at the door, please don’t make it any more embarrassing for us.
3. Please, when you see us reaching be kind and get it for us.
We appreciate the people who recognize our struggle and go out of their way to help us with our needs.
4. Look out for us.
“Oh sorry didn’t see you there” is the most annoying statement after someone bumps into you, please just look a little better while walking.
5. No! We would not like a kid’s menu.
I will say nothing more; nothing about that “joke” is funny.
6. “Wow, you’re really short.”
Thank you, I haven’t noticed.
7. “Just buy it in a short size.”
Yes, short sizes exist, but they don’t always fit our short legs any better than regular lengths do. Also not every store even offers that, so thank you PacSun and American Eagle.
8. “How’s the weather down there?”
Shouldn’t you know by now that joke is so overly used? It's fantastic down here, by the way, thanks you for asking.
9. Stop walking so fast!
Please, when you walk with someone who is small keep in mind that every one step you take is equivalent to about 2-3 of our steps that we take.
10. Please do not bring out the measuring tape.
We are already aware that our license is giving us about an inch or two more than what we really are, no need to confirm it by making a big deal with the tape measure.
11. Stop trying to compare us to children, seriously.
“Stand side by side,” “Stand back to back,” please stop, it's so annoying. The child doesn’t want to, I don’t want my butt rubbing up against a 12-year-old child, please get over the fact that most children will be the same size as me.
12. Don't you dare bend down to our level!
You may only bow down, not bend down. Most of us short people do not find it humorous for someone taller than us to crouch down to “be eye to eye” to us, we’d much rather look up. We are use to it by now anyhow.
13. Please don’t pick me up.
Just please, it's not fun for me, you or anyone watching. I will probably be squirming, and you’ll end up getting hurt and the viewers will be uncomfortable, so let’s just not do it.
Even though I just sounded like an angry short person, I am not. I love my height and I thank the world every day that I am able to win at limbo, I can buy shoes in the kid section (they are cheaper) and I will always be shorter than I like.
