How Not To Get A Second Date
Start writing a post

How Not To Get A Second Date

All of these tips and tricks are foolproof.

How Not To Get A Second Date

Things can get weird on the first date, but if it's going well, definitely follow my guidelines on how not to get a second date.

1. If you're late, definitely say, "Sorry, my mom wanted to take a picture of me in my suit." That implies that you're a momma's boy and also the fact that you live with your mom. Honestly, just keep bringing up your parents. At that point, it's guaranteed that you won't get a second date.

2. Brag about how you just got promoted to store manager at Stop & Shop. Don't forget to tell us also how you can support us financially. We will not be calling you back.

3. Tell us about all of the weird and probably gross things that you did as a child. Really, please! Don't forget about that story where your cousins dared you to sit in a pile of fire ants butt naked and you did. Just keep talking, don't let us get one word out. There's a 100 percent chance that no second date is even wanted.

4. Take an hour to decide what to get for dinner. "I'll have the Penne a la Vodka ... wait actually the Chicken Alfredo ... wait actually, I need a few minutes." That will show us that you're not good at making any choices! It's also probably why you're wearing two different socks and flood pants.

5. If you already know that you don't want a second date while getting ready, wear all of the flashy things that you own. Definitely wear that giant Hermes belt and tuck your shirt in as far as it goes so that everyone can know that you belong in a tool belt. Also, totally wear those diamond cufflinks even though we're going on a totally casual date.

6. Make sure that you pour the whole bottle of cologne on your body. Literally everywhere. There's nothing more appealing than getting a whiff of Armani every time I put my fork in my mouth! This is a great idea.

7. My last tip of how not to get a second date is to make sure that you drink a cup of coffee right before, then lean in seductively. Except it totally won't be sexy because you'll smell like you haven't slept in 12 days and you're trying to make it up with an absurd amount of caffeine. That'll totally guarantee you won't be getting any soon.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Women are known to lug around heavy purses with unnecessary items inside. How many of these useful items do you keep in your own bag? We need to be prepared with a list of things to have with us whenever we leave the house again.

Keep Reading... Show less

I personally love using song lyrics as my Instagram captions, especially from songs that I love or that mean a lot to me, and I happen to love Harry Styles and all of his songs! So I made a list of lyrics from each of his songs that you could use in your next Instagram caption.

Keep Reading... Show less

Everyone's been here. And, truthfully, it sucks. But in order to move on and get past something you need to allow yourself to feel it for what it is--all of the heartbreak and pain--and then you can start to take steps move on.

Keep Reading... Show less

11 Christmas Movies You'll Remember If You Were A 2000s Kid

Because I'm still reminiscing about simpler times.


The Christmas season is coming to an end, but it's not too late to get some last-minute movies in! Unfortunately, this year didn't look like a typical Christmas. While we can't have any big Christmas parties or family gatherings, we can still celebrate at home! Christmas is the best time for nostalgia, and we could all use some warm and fuzzy feelings as we wrap up a tough year and enter a new one that hasn't been proven any calmer, either.

As a kid who grew up in the 2000s, I can think of some of my favorite staple Christmas movies. If you're looking for recommendations or just a walk down memory lane, check out the list below.

Keep Reading... Show less

9 Reasons 'The Wilds' Should Be Your Next Binge Watch

The Wilds is the Best New Show on Amazon Prime


As we enter the new year, you might be looking for a great show to kick-off 2021. Look no further, I have the perfect recommendation. "The Wilds" was released on Amazon Prime last month and has been gaining traction steadily since then. This series of 10 one-hour episodes tells the stories of eight girls who find themselves on a deserted island after their plane crashed while they are on their way to a resort. Unlike other survival shows, there's a bit more to the story than what first meets the eye. This show is unique in characters, storytelling methods, and plot.

If you aren't convinced yet, allow me to provide you with a list of further persuasion.

Keep Reading... Show less

5 Therapeutic Ways To Be Adventurous During The Pandemic

Add some music to reduce the COVID-anxiety a bit and perceive your surroundings as the elaborate setting of a land far, far away from home


Even if we are not traveling abroad at the moment, we can still travel locally while maintaining social distancing and preventative guidelines. Sometimes, the little things in life seem the most fascinating and joyous to us compared to the flamboyant luxuries that we perhaps have a wishful desire for.

So, as a potential remedy for our travel necessity, I have listed 5 alternative ways in which you can relish your traveling desires during this pandemic.

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Things TikTok Made Me Buy, And Now My Life Is So Much Better

Where would I be without my Revlon hair dryer or CeraVe skin products?! Thanks, TikTok.


TikTok is a great way to see what products are trending. People are sharing tips and tricks about items that they use to make their life happier, healthier, or just easier.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments