Two weeks ago, I wrote an article about how I decided to join the Tinder world. Here are some things that men have said to me as their first message when talking to me. (Disclaimer: Foul language and or sexual content is used in these responses!)
1. "Having colored eyes is not special!" You really made me swoon with this one-liner!
2. "You need to make money." This was his response after I rejected his Snapchat offer, to which his reasoning for telling me that I needed to make money was because "You probably need to spend a lot of money on make-up." Well, duh. One small tube of lipstick can run $45, kiddo.
3. "You are super cute!" Says the guy who super-liked me, because it wasn't obvious that you thought so given your super-like.
4. "You have giant boobies!" Thanks for figuring this out, given none of my pictures even remotely show my chest.
5. "Do you want to partake in the act of anal?!" What girl doesn't want to do butt stuff with a guy who they haven't even met?!
6. "Hey, sexy. You have a great smile." After re-looking at his pictures, he looked like a donkey.
7. "You need to come back to school so that I can see you!" You literally saw four pictures of me and talked to me once, but thank you for talking to me like my grandma sometimes does.
8. "Your particular mix of cute and sexy makes me want to have sex with you very hard against a wall. Does that offend you?" First, I wasn't aware I had a particular mix. Second, is this really how you expect to get any women? Third, I was quite offended.
9. "Don't think that just because we became a match means that you can look inside my pouch." Remember that kangaroo I matched with? This was it's first message to me.
10. "If you swiped right for my dog, don't tell me." Sorry, but I actually did.
11. "What kind of adventure are we going on for our date tomorrow?!" Fun fact: This was his first message to me, and I never agreed to a date.
12. "I'm just telling you now that I don't want to be put in your friendzone." That definitely did put you in my friendzone.
13. "jajajaja tu y gabi" What?! Where did that come from?! ¡ Yo no hablo Español!
So, there you have it. While there are some decent guys out there, many think talking to women like this is acceptable. It makes for some pretty funny conversation pieces!
