We all know the age-old rite of passage of living with a roommate. For most of us, college is our introduction to sharing a room with a non-relative, but odds are that even if that isn't your chosen path in life, you'll encounter this living situation. Having had this realization, I felt compelled to offer my own personal insight on having a good relationship with your roommate.
Why would you care what I have to say? Good question. Well, I'm a very lucky guy. I met my roommate-to-be, Jake, over the summer, and we literally had an instant bromance. Like, seriously. Even just over the weekend of orientation, when we met for the first time, people thought we were lifelong best friends. Now, several months into school, everyone was wondering if "the magic was still there" between our breakout friendship, and let me tell you that it's gotten even better. Jake and I have a great relationship, and living together strengthens it every day. But you don't have to be "bros at first sight" in order to have a working relationship with your living partner. Even if you hate the person's guts there's still plenty of room for cooperation. So here are my tips for making the best out of your roommate situation.
Meet/choose your roommate ahead of time, if possible. Now, I realize that maybe not every college will let you pre-select your roommate, but if you're fortunate enough to go to a school that lets you request a roommate, I highly recommend doing so. But when you do, don't just say "ok" to the first person who offers to room with you. It is completely acceptable to wait it out and find multiple options before making your decision. Now, in the event that you attend a school that has mandatory roommate assignments, or you opt to have a randomly selected roommate, you should make every effort to establish a relationship with him/her before school starts. On that note, I personally believe that it is crucial to meet your roommate in person before you get to school, that way you can get a feel for how well you mesh. It's okay to be picky, within reason. This is the person you are going to spend a lot of time around, do your best to make sure its someone you like.
Choose your battles. Yes, Jake and I live very well together. But that isn't because we never have arguments. It's because a) we realize that some things just aren't worth arguing over and b) when something is worth bringing up, we don't go full steam ahead with accusations and assertions. We keep in mind that the end goal of having an argument is to come to a solution – not simply be the one who is right. But seriously, keep in mind the "some things aren't worth fighting over" part. Don't bring something up simply for the sake of starting a conflict. If your bro left his shirt on the floor and he's at class, why not just do him a solid and throw it in his hamper instead of waiting for him to get back to point it out.
Go the extra mile. WHAT?! CAN I BE SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?! AM I ACTUALLY SUGGESTING THAT WE DO NICE THINGS FOR EACH OTHER?! Yes. That's exactly what I'm suggesting. Take the opportunities that arise to do nice things. Clean up a few pieces of trash, make his/her bed, grab a snack to share, it doesn't have to be monumental, expensive grand gestures. Simply taking the time to remind your partner that you give a crap goes a long, long way.
Hang out. Do things with them! Have dinner together, play video games, throw a football (sorry to all the girls out there, all my examples are very guy-orientated), just make an effort! If you don't become best friends, it's not the end of the world. But at least give spending time together a shot.
Don't be a tightwad. Know this, if you have ever uttered this phrase or anything to its likeness, I'm talking to you: "I don't appreciate you sitting in my chair, you didn't ask permission."
Look, I get it. We've all have our boundaries, and we've all have our rules. But part of the college living experience is broadening your horizons and stepping out of your comfort zone. I'm not suggesting that you throw yourself into the "what's mine is yours" mentality, but c'mon. We all know that one person who is just unreasonably uptight and strict. Don't be that guy. Try to be someone that people like to be around.
Okay, this is in no way a complete list. There are so much more things that can be said on the topic, but I think I'll call it a night here. If I could sum it all up, I'd condense it into this: Be respectful, be open-minded, and remember the good ol' Golden Rule!
Peace.
