Experiencing and putting up with a sh*tty roommate is almost mandatory in college. As for my own experience, I could have single handedly wrote this article, but I knew it would be way better to compile a list of tips and tricks from my fellow peers on how to NOT be a sh*tty roommate.
These quotes are based on their own horror stories so, I hope you enjoy these pointers and maybe take some into consideration.
1. "Don't have sex while your roommate is asleep in the (dorm) room ... Less than 5 feet away from you." (Grad Student)
2. "Please shower and wash your clothes. If not your roommate will be forced to buy 12 air fresheners and throw smell-good sneaker balls under your bed... Please take the hint." (Grad Student)
3. "Don't try to be my mom, like relax." (Senior)
4. "Clean after yourself, I'm not your mom." (Senior)
5. "Refill the Brita filter, I would like to drink cold, pure water as well." (Junior)
6. "My donuts are MY donuts." (Senior)
7. "If you happen to be too lazy to walk to the bathroom that is right around the corner - then please clean the closet full of piss bottles before you move out, so I don't have to." (Senior)
8. "Don't be jealous when I do something with someone else. I live with you, hence, I already see too much of you." (Sophomore)
9. "Don't wash your cat's litter box in the sink...with our dish sponge." (Senior)
10. "Try to refrain from talking shit about me while I'm in the apartment. I can clearly hear your insecurities from my room." (Senior)
11. "Just because I tell you that I don't want to be your best friend, does not mean you should lock me out of our dorm room while I'm only in my underwear." (Senior)
12. "Please turn down the TV in the mornings. I would rather not be awoken by Chewbacca." (Sophomore)
13. "If you get too drunk, try to throw up ANYWHERE besides my desk, laptop, cell phone, and shoes." (Junior)
14. "If your dog sh*ts, clean it up. Especially if it happens to be at the front door in a prime stepping area." (Junior)
15. "If I can hear you through the walls, you're being too loud." (Senior)
16. "Don't eat my food - I'm hungry and you ate my last cupcake." (Senior)
17. "Don't microwave live animals to feed to your pet snake." (Senior)
18. "Roommates should definitely try do dishes in a timely manner, but you're just being a jack a$$ if you passive aggressively text me about the 1 bowl I left in the sink as I was rushing to class." (Freshman)
19. "Just don't, when it comes to passive aggressive post it notes." (Junior and Sophomore).
20. "Why has Fin been acting so funny? - Oh right... please don't get my cat high." (Junior)
21. "Don't talk sh*t about me to MY friend, while I'm in the bathroom." (Sophomore)
22. "Leave, just leave sometimes. Make some friends and leave." (Junior)
23. "So what if I have beer hidden in our room. I didn't sign up to room with an R.A." (Sophomore)
24. "Don't turn off the lights while my friend and I are clearly studying." (Junior)
25. "Don't keep the AC on 24/7... even when it's 20 degrees outside."(Senior)
26. "Don't shave my cat." (Sophomore)
27. "Don't interrogate me when I come back at 12:00 am. I thought I had already moved away from my parents." (Freshman)
28. "Don't wear my underwear." (Sophomore)
29. "Keeping my clothes for weeks is not borrowing - it's called stealing." (Alumni)
30. "Respect each other's boundaries - for example, when you are living with someone in a dorm, do not invite a third person to move in with us." (Senior)
32. "Don't throw a party in our tiny apartment during finals week - Because it's f*cking finals week." (Senior)
33. "This is a space that we all live in. It would be oh so greatly appreciated if you cleaned up all of your beer cans. I don't need the constant reminder of how fun and cool you are." (Junior)
34. "Don't use your roommate's silverware to do drugs." (Alumni)
35. "Don't pee in our dorm sink. Yep, home girl hopped up on our sink in our room in the dorm and relieved herself because 'the bathroom is too far away.' And nope, she wasn't drunk if that's what you were wondering." (Alumni)
36. "If you have a sacrificial boar dinner, that's cool, but please do not let the blood and guts sit in the sink for over a week." (Senior)
37. "Don't throw phones at your roommates head, so hard that when you miss you shatter both your otter box protected phone and your mirror." (Alumni)
38. "Just have a basic respect for the person you live with and realize that they are a human being too. If you have that basic respect, then you will find your common ground." (Junior)
My favorite part about this article was getting to talk with some seriously awesome people and bonding with them over our ridiculous past roommates. Thank you guys for sharing your stories with me and so many others that can relate!
