I can attest to this from personal experience: heartbreak sucks. Most anyone that has been through it will tell you it's one of the worst feelings in the world. In high school I firmly believed I met the boy who I was going to marry. Then I went to college out of state and we broke up - shocker. It was an utterly painful experience realizing that my fairytale dream of marrying my high school sweetheart wasn't going to come true. Ever since that moment I vowed I was NEVER going to get my heart broken again. Here are some helpful tips in order to avoid the dreaded reality of teenage romance coming to an end.
Don't talk to members of the opposite sex
As my YMCA basketball coach used to say, “the best defense is a good offense." If you're serious about never experiencing heartbreak, then you have to never talk to people you could potentially become interested in. Like hello, why would you want to set yourself up for utter disappointment? Better to just avoid them altogether. If you're ever in a situation where a boy approaches you and begins to attempt to make conversation, proceed to look at them intensely and not say a word. No, I'm not talking about a sexy mysterious stare – actually glare at them so creepily they think you're a serial killer. I promise they'll back away, or even run, in some cases.
Actually don't even look at them
It's better to be safe than sorry. Have you ever just seen those people that are so unbelievably attractive that you have to have a conversation with them immediately? Of course you have. That's why you need to just avoid looking at them at all costs. The strategy I use when I see an attractive boy is to immediately close my eyes and proceed to attempt to walk out of the room. You might fall and get hurt, but your bruises will heal faster than your heart, guaranteed. Keeping a blindfold in your purse when you go out is a must, in case you're tempted to peak.
Don't watch TV, movies, or music videos
One of the WORST kinds of crushes you can have is a celebrity crush. When I was younger I had an unhealthy obsession with Aaron Carter. I actually wrote him a letter confessing my love to him. Did I get one back? No way. There is something so hopeless about being in love with a celebrity who will never know of your existence. To combat this, distance yourself from all forms of media – so you won't be one of those girls in love with Adam Levine or Zac Efron.
Leave your room as little as possible
The real world is a terrifying place. It's filled with billions of people, some of which you're guaranteed to run into as soon as you step out of your front door. For this reason I try to leave my room as little as possible. By doing this, you're protecting yourself and you could even pick up some super cool hobbies – like coin collecting or model shipbuilding! Since you're going to become a real life recluse, make sure to brush up on the shows Hoarders and Doomsday Preppers. These people are the real deal.
Accept your fate as a cat lady
People will always disappoint you, but your furry friends will never let you down! Living alone and cutting yourself off from all human contact could potentially be lonely so try to accumulate as many pets as possible to fill that void. The best part about animals is you can tell them anything and they'll love you no matter what. Animals are also cute, cuddly, and loving – so why would you want to live your life surrounded by humans who could potentially break your heart when you could spend it with fuzzy fur balls of joy? To quote the great philosopher Drake, “you only live once," so spend it surrounded by small animals.
Let's be honest, things in life hardly ever work out the way you plan. People are going to hurt you, relationships will end, and sometimes you'll be alone – but all of these things are just a part of life and growing up. When you open yourself up to someone the reality is they might break your heart. The most important thing to remember is to never let one bad breakup keep you closed off from the world. If you do, you'll lose out on the opportunity to meet so many amazing people and could potentially become a crazy cat lady. So, to avoid spending the rest of your life as a hermit, go out, embrace life, and show the world how awesome, talented, compassionate, and interesting you are! The right person will come along eventually – so don't sweat it.
