I want children, but I am not ready to be a mother. I can barely take care of myself somedays, not to mention another human being. I’m still selfish - I have career goals, countries I want to visit and adventures to check off of my bucket list. At 24, I doubt many people would find my attitude concerning the matter strange. However, there is still a part of me that feels the need to provide and care for something more than myself. Maybe it’s the idea that my life would have some greater purpose- that someone else would be looking to me for comfort and survival. Or perhaps it’s the thought that all of my energy would be put to use caring for someone or something else and that I would no longer be at the center of my universe. Whatever the case, I feel a motherly instinct even though I am not ready to be a mother.
I have always been a dog person. I’ve grown up around dogs and have been surrounded by them practically my whole life. My family is made up of multiple people who live and breathe for their furry children- yes, we are that breed of human. After I moved out on my own, it surprised a lot of people that I didn’t have my own dog. It was always in the back of my mind, but with work, finances and a social life, it just became one of those things that I would get around to eventually.
After living on my own for about a year, I started to notice a void. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something was missing in my life. I began to notice that every time I would drive back from visiting my family back home I would feel a sense of disappointment at returning to an empty apartment. While there was freedom and bliss to be found in being independent, there was something depressing about the fact that it was “just me.” It wasn’t until I dog sat for my best friend and her husband for a week that I realized what was missing in my life. A furry companion was the answer to my problem.
A little over a week ago, I adopted a little two month-old dachshund mix. I fell in love with him the moment I laid eyes on him and my void was instantly filled. Now my days consist of potty-training and playing with chew toys. I can’t sleep until I know that he is tucked up in his bed and surround by his favorite stuffed animals. My social calendar is governed by his eating and bathroom schedule and I still get teary-eyed when I have to leave him alone. I am aware that this is only a small fraction of what new moms experience, however it is still, in a word, “motherhood.”
It might sound strange to some, but it is a feeling that all dog-owners will understand. There is something wonderful about the fact that you will always have someone to come home to, that someone will always be excited to see you and that you will always have someone to cuddle with. The bond between a dog and his owner is unlike any other and it's one that I wouldn't give up for the world.
