So I went home from college this weekend. Everyone I would run into would ask, “How’s school going?” and every time my response was the same: “Stressful and exhausting; I’m ready to be done. I’m not cut out for college.” When I came back to school last night, I sat up for hours writing a paper, cramming for a history test, and working on online Anatomy assignments. When I finally crawled into bed around 3 a.m. after eating “dinner” and showering, I felt anxious, stressed, and tired. As I laid in bed, I realized: I was supposed to feel that way. I mean what normal human being wouldn’t be a tad worked up after staying up until 3 AM pounding out homework?
But more importantly, I realized that it is okay that I felt that way because college is supposed to be hard… like really hard.
All throughout high school, I had it pretty easy. School kind of came naturally to me and it wasn’t something I ever really had to stress over. So college kind of came as a huge reality check for me. I wasn’t used to staying up all hours of the night because rarely did I have homework. I wasn’t used to having to balance school, work, and extra curriculars outside of class because high school didn’t require much of my time beyond the school day. I would come home from high school and Netflix my life away and hangout with friends. Now, I come home from school to do even more school.
I’ve kind of been down on myself these last few months because I just kept telling myself that something I was doing was wrong because I shouldn’t feel this challenged and exhausted all of the time. I assumed that it wasn't normal to have to try as hard as I did to succeed in college. I thought I wasn’t cut out for college because I wasn’t excelling as easily as I did with high school. I felt like the world’s biggest failure when I started making B’s on tests and actually had to ask my professors for help because I wasn’t understanding.
So my epiphany at 3 AM wasn’t something I took lightly. I needed to realize that college should make you feel challenged and test your limits and toughen you up a little bit. I needed to know that I didn’t just suddenly start sucking at school, but rather I was just finally testing my full capabilities. College wasn’t supposed to be a walk in the park. College is supposed to prepare you for the real world and sometimes that requires a little tough love to thicken our skins a little bit.
So for those of you out there struggling through these last few weeks of the semester wondering if you are cut out for this crazy this we call “college,” just remember you are. When you’re sitting up doing homework late at night or trying to cram for a test, remember that it is supposed to be difficult. You aren’t supposed to find this easy because the whole point is to push you. Most importantly, remember that it is okay to feel stressed and tired and everything in between. Don’t beat yourself up for struggling a little bit (because let’s face it: we’re all a mess). You’re going to wake up and turn in that paper that you never thought you’d finish. You’re going to finally understand the material you thought you’d never grasp. You’re going to make it through the semester. You are going to be just fine.
