Ahh, recruitment season is in the air. We love it, we hate it, we thrive on it. Recruitment inevitably brings perhaps the most stereotypical sorority cat fight ever over who gets to talk to those select few perfect girls you will all literally die for if they don’t accept your bid. It’s a domino effect really. You fight for your rush crushes, which turns into fighting for who gets to talk to them on preference night, which turns into passive-aggressively shoving yourself to the front of the pack of your sisters to be the first person she runs to hug on bid day, which always, always, always turns into fighting over who gets to take her as a little. Deny it all you want, but it’s a dog eat dog world out there when it comes to “little-ing” season.
Every sorority girl knows exactly what I mean when I say “little-ing” season; it’s something that we all pretend doesn’t exist because we don’t want to be that basic, but it totally does. And for those of you who aren’t familiar with the verb (yes, verb) “to little,” it can be defined as this: we dress a little cuter, talk a little sweeter, try to make ourselves seem a little cooler and totally kick butt at being the perfect XYZ sorority girl because if that new XYZ sorority girl doesn’t choose you to be her big, the world will probably come crashing down around you.
Does it seem like a silly concept? Well, when you step back and look at it, yes, maybe, but only sorority women can understand that the hunt for the perfect little is truly the hunt of a lifetime. Well hold up, before you go all Elle Woods or Casey Cartwright on us and become the stereotype we all fight so hard to kick to the curb, take some time to evaluate what it really means to be a sorority woman first and foremost, as well as what it means to be a big and what having a little entails.
The biggest responsibility and one that should not be forgotten when little-ing is that you are there most importantly for guidance and direction. Finding a little isn’t about finding the cutest new member or is the most popular girl on campus or the coolest girl to hang out with on the weekends. It isn’t about finding the new shining star of XYZ. It’s about finding someone you genuinely care about and want to help to excel in every aspect of life. You want to stay in the library quizzing this girl on her study guide until 2 a.m. because you care about her grades, you want to be the one who chases away all the mean boys when they start being total losers, you want to be the one who cheers her on at every intramural game, philanthropy event and through every little challenge life throws her way.
Being a big means being the good guy as well as the bad guy. You need to be prepared to fight for your little under ALMOST any circumstance, but you also need to be able to keep a balance so she knows how to fight her own battles. After all, biggie isn’t always going to be there to text your loser boyfriend to tell him just how stupid he is when you can’t find the words to say it. Remember how I said you need to fight for her in almost any situation? You can’t always fight for her honor, especially when you know she’s wrong. We know: Your little will be perfect; she’ll never be wrong about anything. But just in case, keep in mind that you are the woman she looks up to, maybe even the most in her life. When she does something wrong, you have to be able to draw a line in the sand and be straightforward enough to tell her she’s messing up.
Being a big is a responsibility, and it’s not always an easy one. Sometimes you have to play bad cop, and that is OK so long as you are looking out for your little cutie's best interest. She’ll always thank you in the end. While being assertive, you need to keep in mind that littles, like everyone else, do mess up sometimes. Redirect her and keep in mind it isn’t a big deal. Your little will most of the time be younger than you, and with the average age of going through recruitment being first or second semester of freshman year, she’s still undergoing the vast changes going from living at home in high school to being independent in college is bringing. Be patient with her. If she’s adjusting in less than favorable ways, be honest with her and help her through it. Remember, you were probably that stupid freshman once, too.
To girls who are going through recruitment and are soon to be on the hunt for a big, keep in mind the points in the last few paragraphs. Like a big should look for a little she wants to help guide and direct, you should in turn look for a big you trust to be a good role model. Again, it isn’t about the star sister of XYZ. It’s not about the prettiest girl in the chapter, the most popular woman on campus, or the coolest sister to be with on the weekends. It’s about finding someone you trust to keep you on the straight and narrow through these challenging and turbulent college years.
To every sorority girl out there preparing to go through trying times of formal recruitment in search of that perfect pledge class and that one special, perfect little nugget to call all yours, I send you nothing short of the best of luck. Recruitment season is often hard, tiring and at times just plain awful, but when you see those smiling, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new members running to you on Bid Day, the hard work will be more than worth it. However the work is hardly over after the excitement of preference and Bid Day; after all, recruitment season is just an obnoxiously stressful reminder that little-ing season is soon to be in the air as well.
