How Losing Friends So Young Feels
Start writing a post
Relationships

How Losing Friends So Young Feels

I never knew this feeling existed.

28
How Losing Friends So Young Feels
Pixabay

Nothing prepares you for losing someone. Nothing prepares you for losing someone young. Nothing prepares you for losing a friend young. Nothing prepares you for losing two friends young. Nothing prepares you for when those two friends are brothers, and you lost them both young — and within minutes of each other.

January 10th at 9:07 pm, I received a text from my best friend: "[Friends name] (not mentioned out of respect for the family) and his brother were murdered." to which I replied, "Lying," because I wasn't going to allow myself to believe it. The texts continued.

Best friend: "No."

Me: "Tell me ur lying!"

Unfortunately, she wasn't.

I was in Florida when I heard the news. I begged for it to have not happened in Syracuse, the one place I knew as home, but I did. My parents tried to tell me that they were just in critical condition because that's what the news said, but I knew otherwise. The world had stopped. My world slowly caved in on me. I screamed but no sound was coming out. I was drowning, drowning in tears, sorrows, pain, hurt, grief, but mostly, I was drowning in guilt. Guilt that I wasn't home when my friends needed me and I needed them.

This isn't the same type of pain when you lose someone but you find peace in knowing they aren't suffering anymore. This isn't the same type of pain that can be reversed by buying a new family pet. This is the pain when you're being stabbed over and over by a dull knife but don't have the strength to fight back. This kind of pain ruins everything. It ruins your mood, momentum, pride; your ego, mental and personality. It changes you as a person.

The next eight days of my life were plagued by the sharpest pain I'd ever felt. My heart wasn't broken, it was non-existent. I smiled and tried to continue to enjoy life because they would have wanted me to keep living, but I couldn't find the rhythm to do so. I had to constantly tell myself that I had to act as if they were still here, I had to keep working hard and push through because they would have wanted that and they would have made sure it happened.

I didn't make it home in time to say my final goodbye, but I'm beginning to realize that I didn't need to — because goodbye is forever, this is temporary. I will see them again, I will feel their spirits again, they will continue to push me to do and be better. In 103 days, they are going to be there with me when I graduate in spirit. They will know I'm graduating for them, and with my friends, we will continue to do what they now can't. We'll keep each other strong and be there for each other because that's what they would have wanted, and what they want they will forever get.

These brothers will forever live on in our hearts. They will forever be our brothers. We will forever be one. Sleep Heavenly <3

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

5 Artists You Need To Listen To Right Now

These artists are gonna be big one day, trust me..

9836

Get ahead of the curb now with these artists!

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

How to Relax at the End of a Long Day

It's easy to take work home at the end of the day, however much you might not want to. Jobs can be stressful, and it's all too easy to let the stresses of work sneak into your relaxing time. There are lots of reasons this is easy to do, but there are several ways you can reduce stress from work, increasing your overall levels of happiness.

16793

It's easy to take work home at the end of the day, however much you might not want to. Jobs can be stressful, and it's all too easy to let the stresses of work sneak into your relaxing time. There are lots of reasons this is easy to do, but there are several ways you can reduce stress from work, increasing your overall levels of happiness.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Ten Duo Halloween Costume Ideas

Whether it be with your boyfriend/girlfriend or best friend, coming up with a group costume can be hard.

22080
allthingssupplychain.org

Let's face it. We've all, at one point or another, have struggled with finding a perfect group costume. I've come up with 10 duo costume ideas for halloween this year.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Haunted Houses For Halloween In New Jersey

The Top Scariest Haunted Houses In New Jersey

68533

Residing in New Jersey enables you to participate in various activities, and everyone has a favorite. In New Jersey, Halloween is also celebrated in a spooky way. There are many scariest haunted houses in NJ to celebrate Halloween. If you want to confront your greatest fears, Halloween Scariest haunted houses are ideal.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Leaving My Backpack In The Library

Views about society and the stranger sitting right across from me

95375
https://unsplash.com/photos/O0T1SIgHAfM

As a college student, my backpack is an extension of myself in many ways. It contains my notes, pens, and computer vital for my success in college. It contains the snacks and water bottle I need to survive long days on campus. It also contains the "in-case" items that help put my mind at rest if I forgot something from home: extra hair ties, masks, and that backup-backup snack. With so much in my backpack important to me and my life on campus, it is no wonder that I can get apprehensive about it when it is not with me or in my line of sight. And that makes me wonder.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments