How Losing Friends So Young Feels
Start writing a post

How Losing Friends So Young Feels

I never knew this feeling existed.

How Losing Friends So Young Feels

Nothing prepares you for losing someone. Nothing prepares you for losing someone young. Nothing prepares you for losing a friend young. Nothing prepares you for losing two friends young. Nothing prepares you for when those two friends are brothers, and you lost them both young — and within minutes of each other.

January 10th at 9:07 pm, I received a text from my best friend: "[Friends name] (not mentioned out of respect for the family) and his brother were murdered." to which I replied, "Lying," because I wasn't going to allow myself to believe it. The texts continued.

Best friend: "No."

Me: "Tell me ur lying!"

Unfortunately, she wasn't.

I was in Florida when I heard the news. I begged for it to have not happened in Syracuse, the one place I knew as home, but I did. My parents tried to tell me that they were just in critical condition because that's what the news said, but I knew otherwise. The world had stopped. My world slowly caved in on me. I screamed but no sound was coming out. I was drowning, drowning in tears, sorrows, pain, hurt, grief, but mostly, I was drowning in guilt. Guilt that I wasn't home when my friends needed me and I needed them.

This isn't the same type of pain when you lose someone but you find peace in knowing they aren't suffering anymore. This isn't the same type of pain that can be reversed by buying a new family pet. This is the pain when you're being stabbed over and over by a dull knife but don't have the strength to fight back. This kind of pain ruins everything. It ruins your mood, momentum, pride; your ego, mental and personality. It changes you as a person.

The next eight days of my life were plagued by the sharpest pain I'd ever felt. My heart wasn't broken, it was non-existent. I smiled and tried to continue to enjoy life because they would have wanted me to keep living, but I couldn't find the rhythm to do so. I had to constantly tell myself that I had to act as if they were still here, I had to keep working hard and push through because they would have wanted that and they would have made sure it happened.

I didn't make it home in time to say my final goodbye, but I'm beginning to realize that I didn't need to — because goodbye is forever, this is temporary. I will see them again, I will feel their spirits again, they will continue to push me to do and be better. In 103 days, they are going to be there with me when I graduate in spirit. They will know I'm graduating for them, and with my friends, we will continue to do what they now can't. We'll keep each other strong and be there for each other because that's what they would have wanted, and what they want they will forever get.

These brothers will forever live on in our hearts. They will forever be our brothers. We will forever be one. Sleep Heavenly <3

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Sinning in Las Vegas

Be careful what you do and post


Going to Las Vegas for the weekend is practically a sacramental right of passage in college. It’s so crucial to our early adulthood development that Snapchat even made a filter that says “Vegas for the Weekend.” Damn Snapchat, you really do get it. 

Keep Reading... Show less

10 Reasons Coffee Is The Best In Honor Of National Coffee Day

National Coffee Day is upon us, and what better way to celebrate than to remember why it's so amazing?

10 Reasons Coffee Is The Best In Honor Of National Coffee Day

National Coffee Day falls on September 29, a fact that I don't think I'll ever forget, even though I didn't even know it was a "holiday" until just recently. Maybe that's because my love for coffee is still a recent development, or maybe I just don't keep up enough with the times, but either way, I can't think of any better time to recount why we all probably love it so much.

Keep Reading... Show less

Hispanic Heritage Month

A lil history and a few thoughts.

Dianeliz Gonzalez

Hispanic Heritage month is here, and we are ready to celebrate!

Keep Reading... Show less

My September Faves

Here are some of my faves during the month of September


Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

9 Things Tall People Are Tired Of Hearing

Yep. The weather is fine up here... I've totally never heard that before.


Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE being tall. Sometimes I even wish I was taller. One of the downsides of being tall however, is having to put up with ridiculous questions and statements. I can assure that all tall people are tired of being asked what the weather is like "up here", but here are a few other things we don't want to hear anymore.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments