When I first came to Morehouse, I was filled with excitement given all the many opportunities before me. I was especially interested in all of the extracurricular opportunities that were offered at the College and throughout the AU Center. During the first few weeks of school, I made sure to attend every event I saw which was promoted on a flyer, or through a tweet, or through an Instagram post. It was exciting at first. I was meeting new people, learning new things. A good time. Over the following weeks and months, these extracurricular commitments began to take a toll on me, mentally and physically. I, however, continued to participate in all that I was doing because I had made commitments. To me, leaving them would not be an admission that I was harming myself. In my mind, the prospect of leaving these extracurricular groups was akin to giving up, conceding defeat, or losing. So, I kept up with everything. My grades did not take a toll, but my sleep schedule and social life did. I was always irritated. During the winter break, I did some self-reflection and finally accepted that I could not do it all and did not want to. Unless I could find a way to clone myself so I could be in multiple places at once, I simply was not able to give enough time to these commitments. I then decided to take an inventory of everything I had joined, just to see how much I had taken on. In some way, shape, or form, I was a member of the following groups: The Morehouse Student Government Association Senate, Freshman Class Council, the Malcolm X Grassroots Movement at Georgia State University, The Martin Luther King Jr International Chapel Assistants Program, The Martin Luther King Jr. Legacy Scholars Program, Morehouse College Honors Program, Morehouse Business Association, the National Council of Negro Women, and AUC Shut It Down, an activist group formed here in the AUC.

Yeah, that’s a lot.

I am not listing all of these groups to brag, though I might have a year or two ago. One thing that I was implicitly taught while in high school was that being busy was good. If you were busy, you were being productive and that was a good thing. If you did not get enough sleep, did not spend much time socializing, or were not enjoying the things you were doing, it was all for the greater good. This is a very Western, American idea; that we must constantly keep moving or we are moving backwards. I do believe there is some truth in that sentiment. But most of the time, we take that philosophy to the extreme, and in the process we hurt ourselves. Some people take pride in this busyness as I once did. But what’s the point? What is the purpose of always running around if you do not enjoy your work?

I think those moments of self-reflection were important and greatly needed. I think at some point in our lives, we have to critically examine who we are, what we believe, our priorities, etc. I came to the conclusion that I could not do it all, and that there was nothing wrong with that. So, some things fell by the wayside. I may pick them back up in the future, when I am able to balance them. But for now, I have cut down on my extracurriculars. I have been feeling more optimistic this past month, even with the horrible pain that comes with the pollen in Atlanta. An overwhelming optimism has returned. I have more time to myself and the burden of constantly running around has been lifted. I realize that you have to take care of yourself. This is not egotism, or self-centeredness. It is self care.