Let's make one thing clear before I begin: this self-loving process has been years in the making. Learning to be a girl comes in steps and the learning to love being a girl comes way after all the steps.
Step one comes at a young age when someone tells you "That's not lady like" or "That's not what little girls do" for the first time. You're too young to realize that society holds men and women in different standards. You're 3 or 4 years old, just starting preschool, thinking everyone in the world is your friend. This first step is a subtle knockdown; many don't see the problem in it at all.They think they're just helping you grow up. I first experienced this step when I was 3 years old and was told the shoes I was wearing were "boy" shoes because they were dark blue and grey. The person who said this to me didn't say it in a negative tone, but somehow I still felt like I did something wrong.
Step two is a much more obvious step. This step happens when you're about 8 or 9 and you learn your body is changing for the first time. Anyone who was ever in a public school knows the dreaded day I'm talking about. They pull all of you and your fellow female classmates into a room and explain for the first time about the present Satan himself will be leaving you once a month for the rest of your life and how your body will never be the same. I remember the day, like I'm sure many other girls do. I sat at the little brown desk after the video finished thinking that this was the end. After about ten grueling minutes of questions and answers, we leave to go back to our classrooms when suddenly there's a tornado watch. We all had to run down the stairs to back corners of the school away from all the windows, and as I sat there I really did think my life was ending. It's a whirlwind of emotions, learning one of the main factors of being a girl, and you don't really understand it completely. All you know is that now you realize being a girl is extremely different than being a boy and it sucks.
Step three occurs a few years later when you're about twelve or thirteen, in middle school. Middle school is when you realize that it's a "girl eat girl" world and not every girl is on your side. In fact, many girls are purposely against you. For many (myself included), this is when you realize that not everyone you meet in life is nice and not everyone will like you. You don't wake up and suddenly know this; sadly this is a step you must learn from experience. The even sadder part is that this step will follow you through life. Girls aren't always going to be on your side, even though you face the same problems.
Step four is a very difficult step to wrap your head around (at least for me it was.) It was the first time I realized that on top of everything else women have to deal with, we get paid less than men. I was about fourteen or fifteen and I wrote a research paper about women in the workplace, not expecting for my world to be turned upside down. They sugar coat it in the history books and make it seem like everything is fine after Susan B. Anthony helped obtain women's right to vote. But in reality, there are still problems and that is extremely hard to understand at fourteen. It is still hard for me to understand that to this day. I know it's a problem but it is hard to understand why.
These four steps are a general explanation; they in no way highlight everything we have to deal with. It's a base understanding of what girls go through. Before they can even have opinions, their own society holds them to a different standard than boys. They're faced with the harsh reality of periods, the realization that girls are mean, and to top it all off, after years of dealing with all of this, when they enter the workforce they are paid less than men.
It was about four years after I went through step four that I was able to start love being a girl. I realized all the amazing qualities that come out of having to deal with all of this crap that is in no way fair.
I love the outspoken nature that girls have from dealing with society's expectations. I love the strength girls have after dealing with a week's worth of pain every month. I love that we're woke, and we know that life won't always be fair for us. I love the purpose girls have once they realize that they will have to work twice as hard to make it in a man's world, but they're willing to do it. Most of all, I love the power that girls have from dealing with all the obstacles that life throws at us. Because if it wasn't for all of these steps I wouldn't be who I am today. I am a girl: outspoken, strong, purposeful, and most of all, powerful.
