Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you feel absolutely uncomfortable, and in that moment you are clueless on how to comprehend the traumatic event? Some people are bad at accepting gifts. Some do not like being touched. Others don't like talking about certain hot topics. For me, I do not like being touched by others I do not know very well. I am very awkward at accepting gifts or things from others. Also, there are most certainly some conversational topics that I hate to talk about. I am a big believer in love languages, and my top three definitely also speak to what makes me feel uncomfortable. Quality time is the language of love for me and this can literally mean we are in the same presence without talking or touching. I will be completely content. Words of affirmation come close second; coming in third is physical touch. Even though physical touch is my third runner-up, it does have its parameters, such as it takes a long time for me to be comfortable enough with someone to start touching/hugging/engaging in other forms of affection. I am all about adhering to other people's love language needs, but never find myself needing that reciprocation the other person feels they need to give me. Here are a few ways you may be able to tell I am incredibly uncomfortable.
1. If my smile looks forced, it probably is.
I did not even know I made the same face whenever I feel uncomfortable or just plain awkward until my roommate started pointing it out every single time. My eyes get wide and if you know me, my eyes are already buggy looking, my face looks like I just received a Botox injection, and my smile is incredibly forced - thus creating my go-to awkward face. I think part of me believes this face is kinder to look at than what is truly going on behind the scenes.
2. If I give you a pat-hug or try to side hug.
If it is not obvious by my awkward mannerisms already when you're going in for a full embracing hug with me, just be prepared for some awkward patting. Nothing is more uncomfortable than going over the three-second rule in hugging. I am usually pulling always after two seconds but if I am still being entwined in someone's arms, I will be giving a pat. This pat on the back is usually my plea for personal space once again.
3. Body language speaks louder than words.
Everyone should learn subtle body language cues. Now, I can't speak for anyone but myself when I say my feelings are usually written all over my face, but my feelings are usually written all over my face. Body language is a universal language and I try to make mine more obvious when I am feeling really uncomfortable.
4. If it looks like I’m planning an escape route, I have probably already found one.
Most introverted people like myself will do something similar. Introverts will always have a go-to phrase, or find somewhere to escape in the social gatherings and if we cannot find an escape, there is always a bathroom or pet nearby.
5. I will do something more awkward to avoid other types of awkwardness.
Jessica Day is my spirit animal, and I have definitely done some awkward hand gestures to avoid saying or doing something else uncomfortable. The finger gun and awkward hand hug are personal favorites.
6. I will tell you what makes me uncomfortable.
I do often tell people what makes me feel uncomfortable, so when it still happens I feel highly violated. My personal space is as important to me as the air I breathe, so if I have communicated to others about this I expect to be respected as I will respect other people's needs and weird quirks.
�Boundaries are very important to me and as they should be to everyone else so by respecting mine and other people's boundaries you will be respected in return.
