How I Knew He Didn't Value Me
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

How I Knew He Didn't Value Me

"I am more than a doll, or someone’s special little play thing. I deserve more than the shelf, even if it’s the top one."

How I Knew He Didn't Value Me

I tried to ignore it at first. I told myself that the relationship was new and that I was expecting way too much. I told myself that it was too much to ask him to put me first, or above school or his friends. I gracefully took the backseat each time he bailed last minute on plans or forgot to call. I told myself that he was busy and that he was allowed to have a life outside of me. I didn’t want him to think I was crazy or clingy, so I sat there quietly on the shelf waiting for him to need me. And he always did. He always came to get me when he was ready and we would have our fun, but then he would place me right back where he found me.

And I sat there quietly until I couldn’t anymore. Maybe he didn’t know he was hurting me, I told myself. So I spoke up. And he listened and gave me his reasons and I understood. He promised he would be better and I believed him. So I remained on the shelf with new resolve, thinking that now things would be better. But instead, he came less and less. I wanted to talk to him and to see him, but I felt needy and annoying, and with each passing day I felt my self-worth plummeting. I tried to keep myself entertained with friends and school, but I spent each moment with one eye on my phone, for the small chance that he might actually call.

Once I couldn’t help myself and when he came to get me from my shelf, I was sitting there with tears on my face. I thought maybe the sight of my tears, the physical evidence of the pain that I was feeling, would spark something inside of him. That he would see my wet face and pick me up and never leave me on the shelf again. I dreamt of my shelf covered in dust from lack of use, and days spent with him. As I sat there with him looking down at me, I thought of all the things that he could possibly be thinking, just waiting for his reaction. I waited for that look of realization in his eyes of how he was slowly killing me inside, and how all he had to do to fix it was pick me up. But he didn’t, and on the shelf I stayed.

I let the memories of the good times keep me there on the shelf, but it was the realization of the bad times that helped me get down from it. I am more than a doll, or someone’s special little play thing. I deserve more than the shelf, even if it’s the top one. Respect in relationships is not something that you should have to beg for or demand. Your value should never be questioned and your needs should never be placed on the back burner for someone else’s. I am not a trophy or a toy. I am a person, and I deserve to be treated as such.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments